2008 new year party revisited

When my firm moved to our new office on 1.9.07, we were excited as there is a penthouse on top of the main office and a bit of a open space at the rooftop for us to relax and use for certain occasion. That occasion came when we launched our new office on 30.11.07 and then again, when we celebrated the 2008 new year.

It was a simple gathering with clients from all spectrum with friends and families adding to the festive atmosphere. We just cooked some barbeque with a few partners contributing food cooked at home. The entertainment were good conversations, good food, a selection of songs from my laptop (I don't have a proper sound system) and a karaoke set in the only room on the rooftop.

Guest on the rooftop enjoying their meal

(The lights ack there is Sunway Pyramid area)

Exactly at the stroke of midnight, we waited to see which firework would we see from the rooftop and we discovered that we could see firworks at the nearby Sunway Pyramid, from somewhere in Subang, a little bit of the Midvalley Megamall celebration and surprise, surprise, the best was from a low cost flat just 50 metres from our office.

This year, we were told all celebrations are off due to the death of a monarch, who was the Malaysian king 2 terms ago (which is every 5 years) and there may not be fireworks. Knowing Malaysian, some will still do it but I still haven't decide whether I will be just watching the television or outside contributing to the massive jam which will never ceased to NOT happen after new year celebration.

Anyway, wherever and however you celebrate it tonight, have a Happy New Year 2009. May it be a better year for all...

Siblings gathering

My wife and I had a good weekend due to the long holiday of Maal Hijrah. We spent it at a hotel with my sibling from Johor Bharu right across Pavilion Kuala Lumpur. They stayed there for 2 days but we stayed for just one night.

The siblings

The food at Tarbush

My eldest brother from Subang Jaya came to join in the merriment on the 27th and we had dinner at the Tarbush restaurant at the lower ground floor of Starhill Gallery. After we had our fill of Tabouleh, grilled lamb, beriyani and thick Turkish coffee and tea, we walked around Bukit Bintang area. As there are 5 children there, we stopped at the Haagen Dazs ice cream parlor in front of Lot 10 and had a session of eating ice cream.

The kids sharing the ice cream

The simple thing in life

On the Sunday, we had breakfast together at the hotel and then lunch at the Pavilion's TGI Friday.

Rarely do we have a gathering such as this and sometimes although we rarely meet, this is the time to bond. It differ from meeting at our parent's as not all will be at the table even though everyone are back. All in all, its a good gathering and the only missing component was our parents who had many weddings to attend.

The real new year for Muslims

Praying for a better year ahead...

Today is Ma'al Hijrah or Together with Hijrah, a term used to mark the coming of the Muslim new year in Malaysia. Malaysia celebrate it with a holiday and gatherings by the government at various places. On a personal level Muslims would have read their closing of the year doa' after their daily Asar prayer yesterday and their early year doa' after their daily Maghrib prayer. They would have read the verses in Surah Yasin three times and again read the special doa' which is to be read. These rituals would be repeated all over the world by Muslims.

That is the simplicity of Islam.

Only at the government level, just to show that there is also some form of celebration, there is a gathering at indoor stadiums around the country and deserving individuals are given recognition due to their contribution in promoting or just being outstanding Muslims in whatever field they have chosen. It has been going on for quite sometimes and is well attended by government agencies. Only that due to its localised nature, this recognition will be lost in other 'glamorous' awards these individuals sometimes may have received from other awarders. Maybe some sort of permanent fixture is needed or more promotion internationally will help the recognition of the award.

My father also has a ritual every time Hijriah new year approaches. He will give me and my siblings, all three of us a call, reminding us to say our doa' at the designated time. Every year. He never miss. Even if I was travelling somewhere in Europe or when my brother was studying in United States. Its just show how important every Hijriah new year is for my family.

However it is you are celebrating this new year, have a good one...

My greatest gift

Its not something I gave someone. Its something that I received from someone. It was the greatest gift I ever received in the form of materialistic value. Its from the same person who have given me satisfaction to my soul since the turn on the century. Of course, I'm talking about my wife.

I was given this gift when I turned 33. She asked me what I wanted and 3 months before my birthday I have given my answer. It was not as surprising as my 34th though as she threw me a surprise party then (pictures here http://howmanthink.blogspot.com/2008/10/longest-celebration.html) but it was a big deal to me.

I did say once to my mom that I wanted to have a particular kind of car when I reach 30. It didn't happen as I was still not that stable financially when I turned 30. Last year, I was invited for an event at a car dealership just at the side of Jalan Tun Razak. It carries just one brand and it was German. I went for the event without any expectation bt one month after I was driving the car.

Thanks to the love of my life, I have two precious love of my life. I still need to top it with a better gift.

The day of doing nothing...

I was good at procrastinating. Not really procrastinating as in I need to do anything but just sitting still in my home doing nothing. I did managed to stay in my rented apartment when I was in the university for nearly 3 days as I got my food from friends who was going in and out. It had something to do with a computer games called Dungeon Master. It was quite addictive. Gamers would know that feeling.

So, I revisited my laziness again on the day I was left alone as Selangor was on holiday due to the birthday of Selangor's Sultan. My wife was off to work as she worked in Kuala Lumpur. I had planned to go out at noon but was at the computer since 7am, blogging and doing some networking.

Fellow procrastinator...

At 11am, I watched a part of Episode of Dexter and at 11.30am I went to bed. At noon, if you call 3pm as noon, I raided the fridge and then went surfing again. By 5.30pm, I had had enough of sitting in the house and went jogging around my neighbourhood. I managed to sweat it out then joined the Maghrib prayer. My wife came back around 8pm and we had dinner.

All and all, its good to lay still for a moment savouring the moment as usually on weekday, I rarely had the chance to lie down....

Till death do us part

There is a lot of single people nowadays. Either they are really single or divorcees, it seems that there are a lot of them. I have a few friends who are among this bracket of the population. My business partner and I are always trying to pair them with other singles that we know of and there were quite a few 'failures' which sometimes can lead us to nearly losing businesses. This episode made us cautious in trying to matchmake anybody thereafter.

These singles are actually living a life full with parties in clubs all over town and throwing wicked parties of their own. I sometimes were invited and to tell the truth felt very much out of place. They are mostly bankers with singles friends or ladies who have friends who made us feel we a bit unwanted as they traded banter or secret jokes. As these people are sometimes important to us in our business network, we have to indulge.

My partner is actually better at this as she practises social networking on a weekly basis while I spend time with my wife more than anyone else. I am not incline to join as I was never a good partygoer. The only time I ever enjoyed parties were during my Hard Rock years where my friends and I will actually organised trips to the Kuala Lumpur Hard Rock Cafe for our weekly doses of rock musics.

The most important part to end bachelorhood for Muslims

Back to this single people, maybe the thing that would work is the gathering by neighbourhood or proud parents as they are the one who will usually try to seek for their children spouses worthy of their scrutiny. My brother was a product of an 'arrange' marriage in 1997 and my mother thought she would have gained someone who will be her 'ally' in the house. That is still remain to be seen.

Some of my friends actually met their match in websites and chatroom over the internet. Most are happily married and some already have kids and such. It shows that sometimes its not where you meet your spouse that is important, its the marriage itself which will make or break a relationship. Even if you have lived together long before you are married.

As December seems to be a wedding season, here's to all the newlyweds and the oldyweds too, I guess. At least you are still on board...

Season to be lonely? Not in Malaysia

For other people celebrating Christmas, there maybe a lot of cases where they spent the time alone, having a glass of whatever with the television on and not having anyone to spend it with. In Asia, its hard to imagine this as the festive seasons are always welcome and when it comes, there will be gathering either at private level or in a public level. This is not just when it comes to Christmas, it happens the whole year round.

A church in Cologne, Germany

We have the new year to start with. Then we have the Chinese new year. Then we have there will be a lull in festivities for 3 to 4 months for the real work to be done. Then we celebrate Thaipusam. Then we celebrate Eidul Fitri. We will also have Deepavali currently hovering within the same time with Eidul Fitri. Then Muslims will celebrate Eidul Adha. Then we have Christmas. Then we have the Muslims new year. Then the new year. We also celebrate those other festivals in East Malaysia like gawai. In short, Malaysia is full of celebration.

All these celebration have people going out to visits friends, although some may be localised to the neighbourhood and may also be at places of worship. If you don't really subscribe to any religion, its a good way for you to see the celebration. In Malaysia, we just celebrate along either by visiting friends or just wishing them whatever celebration they are then celebrating. Rarely we see people who are lonely as even those who are put up at old folks houses are visited and taken for dinner or holidays.

In certain cases, people actually do not celebrate in their hometown or by going back to their parents house anymore. They went for holidays and only came back when the holidays are over. Nearly all hotels in KL are fully book during this holidays. In Penang, I read in the Star that they are experiencing a boom in hotel occupancy as European shifted their destination from Bangkok to Penang. Hope there will be more repeat customers.

The Putrajaya mosque...

As a Muslim, I am more incline to celebrate the 29th of December, which is the Awal Muharram or Muslim New Year. For us to read our prayer and hope for a better year next year, which is said to be going one of the toughest year economically. Whatever it is, people are celebrating and hope there is no lonely soul out there alone...

How to receive compliments

Imagine being an only male on the table and you are being complimented on your gentlemanly behaviour as if you are good enough to be a husband. I think that if you are single and those who are complementing you are also single, you will have the choice pick on the table.

Imagine if you are already a husband and all those who are doing the complementing are single women. You will thinking twice or more than twice.

To make another analogy, how about if you are the only male and those on the table are married women with problems at home. That problems were discussed and then aired out for all to hear and their spouses being compared with....YOU!

I have been in all situation but the most embarrasing one has to be the one where they discussed of you and keep on saying how they wish their husband is like that when they are in certain situations.

I have this weapon that I use when I am in this situation, which is also applicable if I am being nag by anyone, be it my mother or on rare occasion, my wife. I space out. I'm there but I'm not there. I'll make the appropriate noise but not really into the conversation.

Just that I wish sometimes for my wife to hear it, just to stoke that male ego I have...

'Old' friends

I befriend persons older than me quite easily. I have 2 friends, who can be considered quite close, who are more than 50 years old. One is even 70 years old. One year younger than my father. Both are politicians and I know a few things about them which they would only tell me about (and a few other 'trusted' advisors).

Anyway, I have known these friends for quite some times and the questions that they asked me were sometimes damn weird. Some of these questions have to do with their children who are as old as me! They would be offended if they know their fathers asked me something about what they have done or are doing. It was weird for me too.

As I posted once, I also have a problem about the titles that the children of these friends use to call me with(read it here http://howmanthink.blogspot.com/2008/11/cik-puan-cik-puan.html). In this modern time, being older by 5 to 6 years will earn you a name without any title in front or at least a "Abang" for brother but not an Encik or Mr. I told them that I'm nearly the same age bracket like you and not as old as your dad but they still keep at it. What to do. That's one of the price I have to pay I guess.

Both know my parents and one is even my father's friend when they were schooling together in the good old day. During certain days, I have to bear with their sickness. During those times I have to hear what caused the ailment that they suffered. I also have cordial relationship with their wives but just enough so that I don't really have to deal with their attitudes although to tell the truth, both lack them. On certain days, I do think about their mortality, if they go first before me, and how I am going to deal with it.

Maybe its just not that important as the wealth of information I gained from just talking with them are just amazing. They had been everywhere and they know so many people. They also inspired me to do a lot of things as one of them is still studying in a local university just for the sake of studying. That's the good part of befriending them...

Better sex after marriage

Is it true that sex after marriage is always better than the sex before marriage?

In a way, its true to a certain extent, as you will be less awkward in your 'opening gambit' and your request rarely will need to be interpret wrongly by your spouse. Of course, there are couples out there who has difficulty in this department as they just couldn't get past the formality of being husband and wife but rarely does a couple not know when their spouse desire a session in the bedroom.

I do believe, after some times, if the spouse just don't get it when a signal is sent by the other partner, its either the other partner is dense (or dumb) or it is intentional. Its rarely the former, believe me. Its also fallen on the men when it comes to giving the signal, especially if they are a bit considerate. Some signals are so apparent that you unless you are blind, you should see it from miles away. Signals are also important when you have kids. Then, the joke about "Tell your mother that the laundry needs washing" will become very real.

In short, the best quote I ever heard about sex after marriage is this "After trying so hard when you are bachelor trying to score, if you are married, you just need to go home to get it..."

Wise word from a drunk friend of mine....

Rajuk...

In Malay, Rajuk is translated best as 'feeling slighted' or 'feeling hurt'. It is a word which had been turned into songs and is enough for one of the couple to say to a third party for it to be understood.

Its usage as a verb can range from "Dia merajuk tu" or "He felt hurt by your action". It is also infamously use by the women folks as they grow older together when a husband pull something to show his hurt and said sparingly "Buruk betul orang tua ni kalau merajuk" which simply mean that "It is unbecoming of old people to pull a face".

In English language, it may means quite a few other meaning, which can be used according to the situation.

In marriage or even during courting, it is a weapon, usually used by the women. It is rarely (and dumb) if used by the men.

You may not get any action if you don't rectify the situation you created if you are hit by the 'Rajuk' mood.

You may be left to sleep on your side of the bed, if 'Rajuk' comes into the picture.

You may be left to sleep on the sofa.

You may not hear from her for a few days.

If you are outstation, you may not be able to get in touch with her with a message keep saying "You have reached ..... please leave a message".

You may need to spend some money on gifts and flower, if you want to rectify the situation.

The gift can range from the cheap perfume to the more expensive diamond ring if you know what's good for you.

I think you get the picture.

Oh, I just got it, for the English only reader, Rajuk is equal to

"To be in the doghouse"...

You Can't Alway Get What You Want

There is this song by the Rolling Stones (No, I'm not that old) due to the television series Californication, which tell a story of David Duchovny character, Hank Moody, who is a writer and was divorced by his wife when his wife fell for another man. All this happened as they were living together and Hank does not believe in marriage. Hank then became a sex addict (which Duchovny replicated in real life) and his misadventure was chronicaled in the first season.

They had a kid and the first season was wrapped up with the wife character getting into Hank's car on the night of her marriage to the other guy, with their daughter and they drove off into the night.

I post about classic lines, Hollywood style, uttered in this show once as there was always the issue of 'trust' being brought up. You can access my post here http://howmanthink.blogspot.com/2008/10/trust.html.

Anyway, this post today is about the song by the Rolling Stones who sang the words which is good to live by

"You Can't Always Get What You Want,
But If You Try Sometimes,
You Get What You Need"

Isn't 'need' is always more important that 'want'? That's the first rule of trade right? Including in this institution called marriage...

Go figure...

Here's the shortcut to the song - http://www.last.fm/music/The+Rolling+Stones/_/You+Can%27t+Always+Get+What+You+Want

Sharing food

It is not easy to be on a diet without looking cheap.

Every supermodel wanna-be knows the rule of not eating after 8pm (or is it not eating at all, period?). As for me, who need to diet, due to my overweightiness (is there such a word?) and my high likelihood being a diabetic due to my genes, I have another way of cutting on my food intake.

I tend to share food with my wife when we go have food which tend to be high in carbohydrate. Living in Malaysia, where the staple food is rice, this is hard to do as we have been trained to eat rice since we know how to eat 'hard' food. Carbohydrate is very high in rice, especially if its the normal rice, not the healthy basmathi type rice, which is so hard to get now in Malaysia.

We share everything from street food to hotel food, unless we are really hungry... Cheap? Who cares?

So, we always eat together in this place near our house, where we would order a plate of fried rice and I usually eat some kind of soup, which is usually chicken soup. Then we ordered a dish, usually some meat or chicken and we may or may not order an omellete to accompany the friend rice.

Then, we would ask an empty plate and cutlery, and share all those food.

And people would stare as we are eating street food but share the rice as if we can't afford the RM1.00 for another plate of rice. Of course its cheap but I am more concern about eating too much rice and I would let my stomach be filled with the soup than the rice.

Its just better to ignore the stare and enjoy my health before it is too late.

The proposal

A flashback...

In 2002, I was living in an apartment in Bukit Jalil, just a bit outside of the place that Malaysia hosted the Commonwealth Games in 1998. I was in the middle of planning my wedding to my then girlfriend.

My office was within the same area as it is now. Every day I would travel the length of the KESAS highway which would bring me to my office in 15 minutes. I could choose to pay two tolls or just one toll according to my urgency or where I was heading.

That day, I chose to use the 'good' road and stopped at a layover, called the Awan Besar Rest and Relax area.

There were not that many people so early in the morninh.

I waited for the call.

The call came exactly at around 9.30am from the radio station where my business partner's now husband, then boyfriend, was working.

We talked for a minute about what I was going to do and then he connected me to the person I really wanted to talk.

It was my then girlfriend.

I asked her how she was and then I asked her, with I don't know how many other listeners listening, to marry me. I was so nervous that I actually fumbled with my words.

She, however, said yes, as we actually had planned to get married the next year, but with no concrete plan and definite date. She was ecstatic when I told her we were on radio. She loved it and it was better than just doing it at a restaurant or some other place. It came about as we did talked about how people proposed in various ways which sometimes borders on the mundane to the extraordinary. And I also wanted to make it an official proposal.

On 8.8.03, we were married.

And that was the story of how I proposed to my wife...

Drinking session

In Malaysia, or actually, all around the world, it is normal for a friend to ask another friend to "Le's go have a drink". Only, you would expect in other part of the world, the drinking session to happen in a pub or a bar or whatever people call a watering hole in that part of the world.

In Malaysia, a drinking session could me that or a session at the local mamak stall or restaurant and the drinks wouldn't make you tipsy but it can make one a diabetic.

Why a diabetic?

In Malaysia, the national drink is called the 'Teh Tarik' where tea and milk are mix together and served after the concoction is put through an exercise of being transfered from cup to cup. You have to see it to believe it and I think its a favourite among most expat once they have tasted and seen it being done.

Anyway, this is the drink that most Malaysian love to drink and the drinking session can sometimes see one drink between one to 3 glasses of this drink. To accompany this session, you need to have a good friend or two, sit aound the table, set up by the sidewalk or even on the street and if you smoke, all the better. The session can last from 30 minutes to 5 hours, according to the topic at hand. If you are in a neighbourhood where the neighbours may passed by after the final prayer of the day, expect him to join in and expect the conversation to run its course until God knows when. If it is during Ramadhan, it can last until the time have come for you to fast again. That's how long this session can last.

Just to make a point of how intovert I am, I don't have a drinking buddy to this. If I have to spend drinking with anyone, after the first 30 minutes, when I have finished my food and drink, I would fidget and as the hour crept in, I would bolt. I just can't stand bullshit and bullshitter as I am as good as the next lawyer when it come to selling nothing to anyone.

I do have good friends but as I am quite conscious of my high chance of being a diabetic due to my hereditary, I drink all my drinks without sugar, including coffee. How much unsugared coffee can you drink in one session? After the second cup, you will start to get the shake and the taste will start to be quite sour.

So, that's why I can't understand people sitting around just talking for hours on end at coffeshops, unless they have a good book in their hands or at least a laptop to surf the net...

How to lose to a girl

I am a bad loser and have quite a temper. This is not really good in a relationship where there are only two persons in it without a third person to act as a buffer or a diversion.

I remember a few episodes of games between us in which I lost to my wife. I actually have not played the games which I had lost since both time and my wife is also reluctant to play them again with me. Except if there were other people to enjoy the game with.

One of the game was when we were still not married where we played a game of foosball. It was at the defunct Breakers in Ampang. It was quite a game. I lost 3 out of 3 games (or was it more?)which showed that it was not just luck that made my wife won the games. She was basically quite good. I actually pushed the table away, then. The handles of my side was also pummelled mercilessly throughout.

The second game was a game of Tekken 3 which we played on the new Playstation 2 in which she gifted it to me using her then new Citibank credit card which had an offer for a white special edition PS2. That was a long 12 games in which she won 8 out of it. And she used the girl character who could use a capeiaro moves to move in for the kill on my few manly characters. We didn't actually stop the game amicably as I was frustrated at having lost to her and I actually threw the controller to the floor. She was quite disturbed by it and we stopped playing.

What brought me to these reminiscences? It was due to a series of advertisements by this new radio station called Business FM by AWAM on women violence in Malaysia. Tune in to hear it...

Its broadcasting on 89.9 FM.

Just a thought, how can the men ever raise a hand or a leg or whatever to the woman of their life...

I'll dissect the issues of women violence on another posting but this is more about me and my temper (which is under control for those who are concern)

Ning Baizura

We had the opportunity of watching one of Malaysia's prolific and talented singer in her element when we when to see her singing at the Journey Through Time II showcase in Starhill Gallery. Booked at table at Shook! although was rejected the first time as they said that the whole restaurant was booked. Got a call on Saturday saying that I can get the table I wanted which have the view of the stage.

It had a view alright if you have x-ray vision. Its just that wherever you sit, you won't be able to see properly as the place was not built for a concert stage. The table beside us were full with Datuks and a Tan Sri, I think, who was enjoying nearly 4 bottles of wine, until one of them dozed off after their meal.

Before Ning Baizura came out, we were treated with a wristwatch showcase. This was my first time in a watch showcase, where the models walked on the stage first, then all around the table, before heading to the back of the restaurant. The Datuks table was excited with the female models and even pulled a few of them near them. As I have my spouse with me and could not affoed the watch, yet, I behaved but did check the intricacies of the delicate item. The watch was by Dewitt, a luxury watch brand.

Here are some pictures of the show...

Her voice was amazing and she do have a very good stage presence...

Taman Pertanian Shah Alam a.k.a. Bukit Cerakah on a Sunday

This trip was loooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggg overdue as I have lived at a housing estate just 5 minutes drive from the new Taman Pertanian Shah Alam. I finally did it due to the pestering by the wife and we managed to get up early that Sunday.

It was a good trip but I was sad at the state of the park. I had been there when I was still schooling where you had to queue up to get in and there were people everywhere. We were quite late when we when there at 9 am as we were just 5 minutes from it but there were only a handfull of people. We did have to pushed ourselves to get a bike as there was a tour bus full of Chinese nationals who just went in before us.

Here are some combo pictures -

The sign says it all

The map

The scenic bus

The bike

The plate of the bus

The entrance

Abandon chalet inside

What a waste...

Going downhill

What I was chasing...

It was tiring but I wanna do it again, and again...

Entrance fee - RM3.00 per person

Bike rent - RM7.00 per bike

Car park - RM1.00 per car

Sweating all over and out of breath like a beached whale - Priceless

Use Your Illusion

Believe it or not, the balding me on the sidebar of this blog was one of the fan of the old Gun n Roses when they were at their heights. Still is. That was between 1990 to 1996 when they were releasing their studio albums in a regular basis. I was in high school and then pre-university or matriculation and then I was doing my university degree. I graduated from university in 1998 and had enough knowledge of Gun n Roses although I got to know of them quite late.

Now, after 17 years, they are releasing their 6th studio album called Chinese Democracy. A few years back, they were the final act in the MTV Music Award where they gave a dose of this album but it was badly done as Axl looked like Axl long ago if he binged non-stop on McDonald's. Maybe he did. He was fat. And still fat according to the photos in the tabloids.

The album cover

Gun n Roses actually remind me of this one senior who was the incarnation of Axl Rose in Malaysia. He was a guitarist, a bad-ass and he actually had all things which have to do with the band. He had all their albums, their live album and their concert on VHS. In his apartment the VHS of Gun n Roses concerts was on nearly everyday. The clip of Axl singing November Rain live and the video clip of the song where Axl got married to a hottie then Slash playing a solo outside the church they got married was also played over and over again. The hotties in all their video were admired by us and their destructive lifestyle were revered by all. Their drinking, womanising and drugs habits were plastered on tabloid day in and day out.

When I was in my matriculation years, G n R, as they were known, released their double album which contained nearly 30 songs and two versions of  Don't Cry. The name Use Your Illusion I and II were the name of that album and we loved both album that the tapes to them were worn in a matter of weeks. Once cover was blue and the other red and yellow. The song like You Could Be Mine, which was used for Terminator 2 and Knockin' on Heaven Door originally sung by Bob Dylan introduced us to a whole new level of G n R.

In 1994, I got to know another one of their song intimately when I sung their song, Patience, where I partnered with the said senior who was an avid fan of G n R to sing it. The whistling part in the song was substituted with his guitar and I sang the song in a talent night. It was quite a bad performance as no one can sing Axl except Axl himself (who even sometimes couldn't sing him, himself)

I went looking for their songs last year for my 2008 new year party and it brought back a lot of memories to the guest of my party then. Some songs were lost to times like Locomotive, Dead Horse and Coma. Some are still favourites to live band that they become cliche like Sweet Child of Mine from Appetite for Destruction. Some are in my iPod.

The influences of G N R in my blog was evident when I used it as the title of one of my posting recently in October 2008 in my other blog. Check it out here - http://kruel-legalcat.blogspot.com/2008/10/appetite-for-destruction.html.

Whether this album is bad or good, Gun n Roses was one of the band which played a big part of my life...as much as Metallica did.

Sports

The only sports that I am currently good at is jogging as I do it nearly every other day. I can run as far as 5 to 6 kilometres without feeling tired, which I know is nothing to those who look fit and thin. I don't look like I can run far but just try me. Then you'll see. Its an achievement on its own as I am known to be quite on the heavy side.

Jogging is also one of the 'sports' that I can enjoy with my wife as there is nothing that you need except your own two legs. We did go out jogging once in a while but I am more consistent these past 3 months due to my glucose level shooting up after Eid Fitri. I do tend to fall off the wagon, like what Oprah said had happened to her, when festive season comes.

The other sport that I followed religously is footbal or soccer which had been a staple for me since my university days. I was not a football fan in my schooling day as I find it too taxing. I tried playing tennis, cricket and volleyball but except for tennis, I stopped when I go to university. Then the only game I played was football.

Being a heavyweight, I opted for the defence position and I was known to stand like a rock between the striker and the goalpost but was never good enough to be that important in games. That was actually how I approach sports, just enough so that I can play but never too good. As we neared our final year, we lessen the intensity of our football games and instead watch it with passion on television. We would wake up at 3am to watch the Champions League and those who were well-versed in football history coached me on who's who. As there were many Manchester and Liverpool fans, I buck the trend and choose Arsenal. This was before Chelsea gatecrash the party and make the Big Three into the Big Four.

During my university years, the Malaysian football was also in quite a euphoriatic state which saw us choose side according to where we came from. The main team then was Selangor who has the Man U mentality and vanity, which I became a fan of due to my housemate. My own state, Negeri Sembilan was the mid-table filler during that time. Then it all went downhill when they discovered that nearly half of each team in Malaysian football were in the take. We were even educated by the press that the bookie needed to pay-off at least 5 players including the goalkeeper to ensure the other team wins.

Football was also the reason my television is set to switch itself on at 3am during the early years of our marriage and my wife had to endure me and a few other houses within our condominium complex shouting "Goal...!!!!" in the middle of the night (morning?).

And that was also the TV was banned from the bedroom and I have to stay in the living room alone. Luckily, Arsenal had been playing badly for the past few years and my wife have been spared the wake-up call...

Women boss

I live and work among women. My idol in business is my mother. All my business partners are women. I don't really understand the reluctance of some men or even women of having women bosses. I never have any problems working with these women who play a big part in my everyday life.

That no problem part is a general assessment which may not apply to all men.

I have been known to know how to tread carefully when the wind blow a bit weird that day. I sometimes do make the mistake of trying to pick a fight when they don't really want to play. But sometimes, if important decision needs to be decided, I won't care what they would do. Knowing how to assert onceslf is sooo important when it comes to business. Even more when you are a lawyer. I am also known to have arguments with my mother whom I blamed for making me as I am. Read my post on being trained by an expert to win arguments - http://howmanthink.blogspot.com/2008/10/i-was-trained-by-expert.html.

My primary partner and I have been known to alternate the good cop, bad cop role when dealing with our staff. Sometimes, we use each other names to make them think that we were in the same page but we give the other a head's up when we did that. It maybe that we came from the same law school making us understand each other idiosyncracies or it maybe the 16 years of friendship or a lot of other factors.

The thorn among the rose  

Anyway, on dealing with a woman boss, I have also dealt with a few of them on another level when our firm need to deal with them in our line of work. I can vouch that they are just the same as men in their work ethic or their 'needs'. Only their needs may involve more on the 'bling bling' side more. That is why Malaysia is still at quite at a high spot when it comes to transparency and corruption as this 'disease doesn't discriminate gender.

So, my staff have avenue to air their grieves especially if it have something to do with 'women issues'. They can't say that we don't understand their needs and their feelings. These are just some of the benefit of having women as partner, among others....

Friends you accummulate after marriage

This is not about friends between one half of the couple in a marriage but is about the friends that you accumulated after you get married.

For parents they will gett to know the ir children's friend's parents. Some will have their love revolve around their children that they don't even have their own friends. Maybe even the friends that they do maintain will be more virtual through social networking internet site like facebook or myspace or even skype. If not, they will only meet their school friends or university friends during open houses or during celebration or festive season.

Their name will also be changed from their own identity to so and so mom or so and so dad or so and so parents. They will no more be a ble to plan holidays or even a short trip to the mall without having to think out how to bring along the kids. Parents will have excuses ranging from my son have a fever to my daughter have a ballet class to we are going to the beach with the kids.

As for those like my wife and I, being childless, we are the rare breed who have to be understanding so that those who have kids can arrange to have time with us. We even have to do this with our own siblings who have kids who need to be attended to. We don't really mind as we ourselves don't really mix with anyone as we can keep ourselves entertained with various programs.

That is why we have a lot of friends who are in the same boat with us. Childless and available at all time to entertain or be entertained. In our earlier days, we loved cooking for them and we would served them dinner or sometimes, lunch. We didn't dicriminate as we did invite those who have children.

As we now live in a very lively and interactive neighbourhood with the prayer house very near ours, we also tend to gravitate towards those within our age bracket and with the same interest.

And last but not least are those who work with you day in and day out. These are also friends that have to bear with you everyday. They will also play a part in your marriage as their experience with marriage can sometimes make you wonder whether that angry look the wife bears at the end of her day have everything to do with what you did or was she having a bad day at the office with their colleague...

Space

"Space."

"The final frontier..."

That's what they say in the opening credit of the Star Trek series (which I am not a fan except for Generations).

For couples, I believe its important to maintain civility among couples who need a bit of space for them to breathe. Breathing is important in a realtionship, either for your sanity or the relationship itself.

If you seen my status updates on my social network such as plurk, facebook or twitter, you would have known that I was left alone for two nights last weekend. My wife had some girlie sessions with her friends and I went to watch Lakeview Terrace. Got the whole cinema to myself in the Garden's GSC. Okay movie...

Not complaining as I managed to write a few blog posts and finished a few chapters of my CIFP CD. Did try to go out with my business partner but was not in the mood in the end... Was just cruising the streets of KL.

My problem is I have lost most friends when I got married except for a few who are also busy being married. Once I was busy with business as my clients need to be handheld for days on end at karaokes and such. Those moments I left my wife at home and returned home quite late.

Did got to know a few of my neighbours but still in the getting to know process...

Maybe next time I'll call them out for a bull-shitting session...

Sacrifice...

Today is Eidul Adha or Hari Raya Haji in Malaysia. I will be at my parent's house in Seremban and already up since 6.30am to prepare myself for solat sunat eidul adha at 8.30am near the surau at my mother's house. I won't be having breakfast before prayers as that is another sunat on hari raya haji. Some bonuses require hardship and not eating breakfast is nothing.

My wife remember her first raya haji at parent's for all the wrong reason. My insensitivity...

I was so into this plus points that you can gather during the two eid that Muslims celebrate such as new clothing, different routes going to and fro from the mosque and eating breakfast before prayer for Eid Fitr whilst for Eid Adha, the old clothing, same routes going to and fro from the mosque and not eating breakfast before the prayer. As a bachelor, I had followed this to a T. I did all these by myself and my mother was not really the type to help me prepare my clothes for that day as she had trained me to do this by myself.

From the year that I got married, we celebrated both eids in my hometown. This has been the case even to this year. So, on that particular eidul adha, the night before eid, I asked my wife to prepare my baju Melayu (how do you translate this to English? Malay clothes?). When I was saw that she had prepared a new baju Melayu which she made specifically for that occasion making it a new clothes which made me unfairly saying that she had made a terrible mistake and she should find me one of my old baju Melayu. She took it hard as she did not understand the reason for me so wanting to get that bonus.

I think that is one of my fallability. Looking at too big a picture that I tend to forget the smaller details.

Sacrifice on eidul adha has always been a theme for its existence. My wife had done a lot for me this 5 years we were married. I have done my share too but this post is about her and I just wanna say...

Thank you...

The cow which is going be 'sacrificed' for the coming Eid...

(Not in referral of any kind to the post) 

Chick flicks

Whenever my wife wants to watch a movie, especially when the movie is a lovey dovey movie or about how a boy meet girl then meet another boy/girl who becomes a third wheel or in short when its a chick flick, I would try to wiggle myself out of it.

However, its not that I don't watch chick flicks as I did have my own favourites. I did watched Titanic thrice, at the movies, where at one of the show, I watched it alone. I love When Harry Met Sally (yes, I am that old), You've Got Mail due to all the Godfather quotes in it, High Fidelity due to Jack Black's underated performance and a few others due to its own quirky reasons. I think I even love the Notebook although I never really watched the full movie but some parts at the Astro movie channel.

Nowadays, I know there are too many corny movies being pushed down the throat of the consumers with half-baked scripts and I would always check the reviews on the movie, the director, the hype and the storyline. Even then I would still try to influence my wife to not watch it if I think that its not that good.

Some chick flick movies were so bad that even my wife agreed that we shouldn't have wasted our time. That is how critical we sometimes can be. As we do watch old movies or movie like Priceless or movies such as As Good As Gets which is  one of our favourite, we sometimes watched these movies in the comfort of our own home on the television.

As they say it, they don't make it like they use to...

Faking it

Does women really believe that when you fake it, we, men, wouldn't know? Just by looking at the face and feeling the spasm, a man should know the real deal. A real man that is...

Anyway, faking emotions or the big 'O' doesn't just apply to women. Do you realised that men are good at 'faking' too? They can fake being guilty at something or being 'insaf' like what the Muslim would say. They can shed tears if the need arise.

Okay, I know that I am not being fair. There are a lot of cry-babies out there but come on, when it comes to real man, REAL as in the heterosexual one-woman type of guy, okay scratch that, heterosexual guy (who wish for more than one woman), crying with real emotions are so unreal. Unless there's a death in the family or your football team lost in the final game of the season which would have clinched the title (go Arsenal!)

Read my post on Crying at http://howmanthink.blogspot.com/2008/11/crying.html. I am the complete opposite of my better half and I only fake it when I want to sleep late by not waking up when called to do houseworks...

Choices...

I have a friend who is having headaches due to the choices made by his children. The choice of their would-be spouses for two of them and the choice of one who had gotten married this year.

There is this saying in Malay "Diluah mati mak, ditelan mati bapak" - You swallow, you kill you father, you spit it out, you kill your mother. In short, damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Here are his dilemmas. He is a very conservative person. He was a politician from those days where the only superpower was that one party which had govern us forever. He married when he was 28 and he was known to be quite a playboy before and after marriage as he believe a man should always be in control of everything that happens in his house. He nearly married another as a second wife but was stopped by his own conscience even when he already knew the girl's family and spent time with them in America, and got his wife's comsent. He thinks of himself as an ultra Malay with strong moral compass borne out of living in a kampung environment. He has unshakable believes bordering toward controlling all that happens in his household.

But, he never expect his children to be so very liberal that he has to change his perception towards marriage and even towards life in general.

His test case started with his second child. His second son is now married to his own friend's daughter. This particular friend was his buddy when he still went to karaoke session and do various unmentionable things with those who served them in these 'palace of pleasure'. This friend also married a second wife who is 2 years older than his eldest daughter.

My friend was so disturbed when his son told him of their love affair. The son was even sent to Australia to try to break the couple off. No such luck. One of the reason the father tried to break the affair was due to the fact they were 4 years apart in age and the girl was older. That was 2 years ago. Last August they were married and now the girl is already pregnant. My friend has accepted the fact that they are in love and there is nothing that he can do to separate them.

Now, here are some new news which he confided in me two, three weeks ago. His eldest child, a daughter had just been engaged to a boy 5 years her junior and the boy is just 19 years old.

His third child, a boy, who is furthering his study in London is now in love with a Chinese girl who was studying with him in KDU before he flown there. The girl is arranging to further her study in the same area in London with her boyfriend.

My friend lamented that there is nothing he can do to make sure his children marry according to his belief. I know that the wife did play a part in influencing him but when I asked his son, the son said after he lost his seat in the state assembly, he became more 'mellower'...

Maybe, changes doesn't come in politics only. People can also change.

Even if they are old...

Small like daddy's

As I still don't have a child, a story about the cuteness of kids and their inquiring minds is very rare and is always 'borrowed' from a friend. The friend in question is my wife's colleague.

She was breastfeeding her newborn one afternoon and the hungry child was still suckling after 15 minutes. As the time passed the mark of 15 minutes, the child was still suckling and she was starting to feel some pain. She said to the baby jokingly "When will you stop suckling? This is taking too long...", she lamented.

Her other son who was sitting near her vicinity suddenly turned to the mother and child and said "Hey baby, don't suck it too long. If not, mama's breast will be small like daddy's...."

Hmmmm.... Maybe that's why the Japanese created a bra for men...

Shoes...

I just ordered myself a new Cole Haan's brown shoes to substitude it with the blue one that I have as my wife has been pestering to not wear the blue pair when I am wearing my brown khakis. Although I know that its a fashion faux pas, I just can't help it as Cole Haan shoes are soooo comfortable. Nike Air technology and all.

A rare occurance. No shoes...

It reminded me of women and shoes. This is my second pair of shoes for the year and my wife is already into her 10 new pair of shoes this year alone. Its not that I don't understand the needs of women but it is just that they can buy shoes as if they have more than a pair of feet. They need all type of black shoes to go with all type of dress. They need a flat, a wedge, a stilt, a strappy one and there are so many type that these that I have mention is enough to show how many over the years have I been in the vicinity of my wife shopping for shoes. That does not count the other girls I have been fortunate enough to accompany for their shoes fetishes's fix.

The only thing that I love about shoes is when I am entertained with the latest stillettos before it's everyday use....

P.D.A.

I shunned Public Display of Affection if it involves kissing and hugging, except in airports or if there were no one I know around. I know this one Dato' whose wife sent him to airport and this old couple kissed on the mouth before the Dato' flew off on a trip. I was also in the same group as the Dato but my wife was only dropping me off without me having to hug and kiss her in public. Phew....!!! And that was with the Datin asking me where was my wife as she never met her before.

I know I use this image before but just look at these two...

Okay, that was bad of me but I just hate doing that type of show in public as a kiss on the hand (by the wife, of course) is affectionate enough with deeper meanings. I even sometimes forget to hold my wife's hand or even pull back in certain circumstances and I know it hurt my wife a little but I am too anal retentive to change myself. Unless it was done in private which defeat the totally whole idea of showing your affection in public.

I have friends who do it like they were the most loving couple around. My wife and I even call them 'the loving couple' behind their back of course. Its not that we hate them, it's just that we know stories behind the shown affection. Its bad enough we have to endure the sickening sight mushiness of it all, we have to hide the fact that we know that their marriage is not that..... good.

So, until I hit my head and change my perception of PDA, I'll just use the term PDA for the handphone that can surf the net...

If that ain't love...

The song by Supertramp, sung back by Gym Class Hero, on how he thinks that a girl is in love with him with one of the chorus saying "If that ain't love I don't know what love is" made me to start thinking about the nature of modern love among my friends especially. Singing on how if you look at his girlfriend and you will see how much that girl love him. She then change her ringtone which will be unique to him when he calls.

This pop song of love and affection shows that time have change. The Supertramp song was sampled by Gym Class Hero and renamed "Cupid's Chokehold". Apt name with the way the singer expressing his happiness of being chosen by his girlfriend and treated to various affectionate acts. He was surprised at these acts and expressed himself through this song.

Its not really the whole song that catches my fancy but its the word "If that ain't love I don't know what love is" which implies that the person who love you did things which is exclusively yours and no one else. The personalised ringtone, the late night talks, all the affections and all the sacrifices that you are willing to make. It all had to do with giving a unique feeling to your love one. Doesn't every couple feel that their love is the greatest in the world.

Mama love

When you are married, the greatest thing that you will need to adapt to is your partner idiosyncrocies.

The burping. The farting. The scratching. The anal retentive mind. The slob. The not-putting-in-place-back-the-thing-that-I-have-taken. For male. And some female.

The PMS. The shoes. The furniture. The dress. The why-did-I-marry-this-guy? questionable look. This is for the female. And some male?? (maybe in this day and age)

Anyway, tolerance is the key to success. If not, you will throw in the towel very shortly after your union... or have a very miserable life together. Like some people I know...

Lavish wedding v simple wedding

This week seen me attending two types of weddings at different venue and in different spectrum of society. One was held at hotels around Kuala Lumpur with lavish spread and high profile attendees. The other one was at a low cost flat at the suburb of Kuala Lumpur. One was by a person whom I got to know through a friendin which my attendance was more out of curiosity than anything else and the other one was my sister-in-law's which was a must for any relative to attend.

As my wife's family was from a 'kampung' in the middle of Kuala Lumpur relocated to low cost flat quite near its original location, the wedding was done like how a normal kampung would throw a wedding. This is where the difference lies in Malaysia between the haves and the haves-not. The rich hire people to do their work and their party for them. The haves-not invite all their friends and families from their 'real kampung' in Perak and Kelantan. The haves invite 'important people' who will shape their business later after the wedding. The haves-not just invited people from all walk of life, even their neighbours a bit further away.

This is where the money goes most in a small wedding

On the wedding day of my sister-in-law, the whole flat was involved in the cooking, the helping out, the ushering of guests, the taking apart of all the table and the putting back of everything in their places. Everthing was done on that one day which would be wrapped up with a karaoke session which was expected from the host. My wife told me there was 'joget lambak' or open disco in the old day but they don't do it anymore. That was how a small simple wedding being held in Malaysia

... and this is where the money goes most in a lavish wedding.

As for a lavish wedding, how about 7 days and 7 nights of food and drinks at various venues where 6 of it were at hotels around town and at each hotel a minimum of RM1 Million was spent. The final day was held at the groom house and I can only imagine what they spend there. As I went to two nights of the wedding out of the 7 that were held at two different hotels, I saw that the guests were nearly the same. Hmmm... I thought the point of a wedding is to announce the change of status of the person getting married...

I still think that how ever simple or lavish a wedding is, what is important what happens after. Wether the marriage is a success or not. Hope of a happy life to the both couples...

D.I.N.K.

I read this term somewhere once. I think it was the now-defunct Asiaweek but I am not sure. It was about the term they give certain couples according to their income and liabilities.

Double Income, No Kids. Or D.I.N.K. As oppose to Double Income With Kids. Or Single Income With Kids. Or Single Income No Kids. Actually the one I really remember is the the first category.

That of my wife and I.

We have been in that bracket for 5 years plus now. We have our routine and we have our economic situation assessed and reassessed a few times every year when we thing we need a new investment scheme or if the economy took turn for the better or for the worse. We try to cut our spending when the credit cards seem unmanageable or increase our spending according to the festive season. We have travelled to a few countries and planning to travel more in the near and distant future.

In one of our trips...

We would buy or change our car if the economy permits and if a new model take our fancy or if my wife is fed-up having to manage a car which is too big for her. We took personal loan, paid it off and took some more. We bought houses, sell one, retain one and intend to upgrade the house which we live in into a mansion or maybe just a bungalow or even maybe just a condominium agreeable to us. We may just refinance it and renovate it as per our liking.

We invested in unit trust, the ever favourite Amanah Saham Bumiputra, Tabung Haji, shares, fixed deposit and all the conservative to a little risky venture which may give us a bit of a return every year. We have part-time jobs and side income to help us cope with our loan repayment. We have our egg nest which may or may not last until our retirement. We presevere to ensure we can survive in a comfortable situation.

We planned all this without thinking of any changes in our plan except if Allah suddenly has planned for us to change the category from DINK to DIWK or any other plans that He has for us. After all, we can only plan and He will determine our demise...

Walking together

I have always been guilty of not following the rules of courtship when I was dating my wife. After we decided we were the perfect match and there was no doubt in our mind that we were going to get married, I treated her just like a wife that she was going to be.

One of the treatment that she received was when I always left her behind when we were walking around town. It was just that I love to walk fast. As I knew how to be tactful and just to made her felt appreciated, I said to her - "As a Malay man, I am bound to treat you like this eventually. At least if not immediately, when we are old...", it made her smile, which does not necessarily mean that she agrees with me.

Do keep up with me dear...

After we got married, I became even worse as I asked her to walk all over the places that we visited, either in Amsterdam, Paris, Bali and good ole KL. We walked if we wanted to go for shopping. We walked if our hotel was 200 metres away from the beach or 500 metres at the end of the beach. We walked under a hot sun or we walked in the cold European climate. We walk and we walk. How my wife hates me for this...

I do it as I have a girth which I would like to not have and I sometimes understand that it is not easy to walk in high heels. I do sometimes give way and let her off at the entrance of a mall or the place where we can meet then I trudged alone to her. It is rare especially where taking a taxi is expensive.

I do sometimes did a double take when I realised I was walking to fast and she was trying to catch up with me when we are in a mall or around town. Sometimes, even when I am holding her hand, she has to run to keep up.

Its just that I love walking fast. It is still a bad habit which I can't shake off. Maybe it will stop when I grow older.

We'll see...

Old flames

Do you ever introduced your old flame to your spouse? As for someone like me who got to know my spouse through one of my other girlfriend, it was never a problem.

It has been a staple for me even before I was married. When I was in the university, I got to know this one girl through the internet and after I dated her twice I brought this 2 girl friends of mine to her house to assess her and she was so offended, not because of the assessment but because she thought its weird for me to bring 2 girls to her house. For me it was simple. She needs to know who I always hang out with before we embark on a serious relationship.

Now my wife had met the first crush I had in school who I had a love/hate relationship with, who married one of my male school friend after I gave him her phone number. My wife had met this one girl I knew in university who I courted right before I got to know my wife. My wife had even met this one GRO whom I had gone out with a long time ago. These are just a few of the old flames that I have introduced my wife to.

One of my current flame which my wife is ok with...

Most because I still keep in touch with them such as the university girl is a manager at the legal division of a government development company which appoint my firm as their panel. Some are long gone like the GRO.

The point I am trying to make is the need to bury the hatchet and let bygone be bygone especially if you want to have closure in your history. I am a big believer in what is past is past and tomorrow is another day...

Lingerie...

Malaysia seems to be swamped with lingerie shops at malls nowadays. There are La Senza, Xixili and the everlasting Triumph, among others. Although there is still no Victoria Secrets or Agent Provocateur shop in sight, you can get these brands at selected shops or departmental store. Some are marketed to the masses for all those women who need their basic undies and some are marketed for those who have a naughty side to themselves.

Why am I such an expert in lingerie? It is actually an important arsenal for those who have been married for sometimes...

This is an important component too to good sex

Just imagine the need to spice thing up a bit in the bedroom. With a bit of extra clothing, which is not extra at all, come to think of it, you can liven up the most mundane routine sex (is there such a thing?), especially for those who already have kids and whatnot which will take up even the air that you breath. You need a bit of a starter before you can get to the main course.

In a country as conservative as ours, we still rarely see couples go into a lingerie shop and the men standing around while waiting for the women trying it out and asking the men to see whether they would like what they see. Some are brave enough to do this but still avert their eyes when they met other women in the shop. The best description of their look will be 'sheepish' meaning that they are actually embarrassed to be there but they were not given a choice. It is the same when sometimes the husband or the boyfriend had to shop for some sanitary napkins at the local store for their partner (it won't be too embarassing if it was at the hypermarket).

Anyway, lingerie is as important as a tool but not the most important thing in a couple's life. A healthy libido and understanding between the couple is as important, among others and of course, the four letter word - L.O.V.E.

My wife's overactive imagination

I did post once on the easeness of my wife crying. You can read it here http://howmanthink.blogspot.com/2008/11/crying.html.

There is another attitude of my wife's which took some time for me to get to use to. It was her overactive imaginations. According to her mind, I am already in nearly 5 to 6 affairs when I started blogging actively and before that I have had affairs with the students that I taught in a local university and various other affairs because of various reasons. It seems that my libido is so great that I can maintain a few mistresses at any one time.

How about when I get a whack from her for something that an actor did on screen or when she knew a friend of mine is having an affair? She knew since the day we were courting that I love to surprise her. I told her earlier in the relationship, never to expect anything when she expect something but be ready to be surprised at the time she wouldn't expect anything...

Me, being surrounded by other women...

I once did try to slip beside her when she was sleeping in the afternoon trying to be romantic but I gave her quite a start coupled with a shout which was nearly a scream that I gave up doing it after a few times. She thought I was a thief who had slipped into the house.

As for the affair, I can hear the edge in her voice when she ask me who a new girl or woman I just got to know was. The early years when I partnered with my university friends who rarely wear other than some corporate suits or blouses which left nothing to one's imagination, her jealousy and suspicions could be seen. Then they became friends, and I heaved a sigh of relief...

I am currently introducing her, little by little, to a few of my ghost of christmas past, due to necessity and there were various reactions from her. Some, she thought were beneath her and some she confessed to be way out of her league. I always keep reminding her that I have chosen her and the other girls were my past. Water under the bridge. Most of them are happily married, with children. What she imagined when I was courting them, I leave that to her imaginations.

If there's a sudden whack out of nowhere, I know her imagination just caught up with her mind...