The iftar tango....

 Every year, like any other year, the iftar or buka puasa part of Ramadhan will be in focus. People tend to go overboard when it comes to spending for buka puasa. Before I was married, in a family like mine where buka puasa is an event in itself, my mom tend to cook more than necessary as during those time Pasar Ramadhan or Bazaar Ramadhan were not as popular as it is now. We overeat on what our parents cooked for us, not some food which you are unsure of the quality of from a vendor who you suspect is only there to make money. All this thanks to a fast life of not being able to cook our own food.

Years back, when we were just married, my wife and I decided that we should do the same. Except for one delicacy which we will allow ourselves to indulge, we will only eat something which is well-prepared. Our Ramadhan routine changed but doesn't really change the way we overindulge. Only that we eat better food and something we are sure of being supposedly healthy. We also tend to cook more than necessary and we will try to eat and eat until the time for us to stop.

Once in awhile, we also tend to go out, book a hotel buffet and eat. I also treat the staff at my office the same. Hotel buffet is the norm.That is until 4 years ago when food prices started to rise and the realisation, we are overindulging in something we should take heed not to. 

Nowadays, at home, my wife and I decided we would slow down on our food intake. Iftar is just water and some fruits, usually dates and an apple. I will usually perform Maghrib prayer first before we eat a proper meal. Sometimes, I only eat after the Isya' and terawikh prayers. My wife will usually cook one rice dish and we will eat peacefully at home. I rarely do iftar in hotels anymore. This Ramadhan, I have only had iftar thrice outside of my home or either my wife's parents or mine. One is with my staff in which the hotel buffet has now become a proper catered meal at our office, complete with grill lamb and twice with a bunch of brilliant young minds whom I got to know through their blogs.

There's still half a month of Ramadhan. As we go nearer Syawal, I think it is important to do more ibadah than go eat. As for me, I am trying to lessen more time eating outside of my home but more time inside....

8803

8 years ago, after Asar, which then was nearly the same as now, at 4.45pm, I solemnized and officially become the man in someone's life. I was so nervous about going to the mosque from my kampung in Negeri Sembilan, I actually took a wrong turn to the highway. I had to detour nearly 20 kilometers away. I am not sure whether I ever told anyone, including the person I now called wife, about that tale. When it comes to the exact moment for solemnization, I don't think I had any problem, except due to the heat, I was sweating....

Just to commemorate the day 8803, which we have embedded in most of our plate numbers. 4 cars and counting.... One was written off due to an accident. One is being used by your sister. And two is still in our possession.

As this is Ramadhan, let us celebrate this anniversary with a quiet sahur later....

And reflect...

Obedient Wives Club wins?

Have you seen this YouTube video which is an evening show called The Evening Edition by BFM Radio? This show is where two or three guests will be interviewed about one topic which can be favoured by both or dissented by both or to make it more interesting, where these guests have opposite views. 

For this particular The Evening Edition, the panel consisted of the Obedient Wife Clubs which was represented by Dr Azalina Dato' Jamaludin, Marina Mahathir who represented Sister in Islam and Dr. Ahmad Farouk Musa from Islamic Renaissance Front. 

Let me put the question which has been debated and made jokes of by the social media community (which you can find through this Twitter link) : Did the Obedient Wives Club win here?

Now, let us look at the debate from a different perspective in point form :

1.  Is this a debate or an attempt to ridicule a person?
2. Shouldn't a debate like this has moderator(s) and then the same number of debaters, not one person against FOUR people who attempted to make her see the light?
3. Isn't Islam a faith? If one doesn't believe in a faith, why must it be question? Did Islam ridicule other people's faith?
4. Isn't there a bully here who couldn't accept another point of view and was not really debating?
5. Is the Obedient Wives Club for all or just for Muslim women and is it compulsory to all? Even I lack the one factor in being a male.

As you can see, I am kind of bias in my analysis.If you ask me why, it is simply that I hate a bully (much like those Public Service Announcement in radio stations about how we shouldn't bully people).

Whether I believe in the Obedient Wives Club, that is another question altogether. They have valid points and for would you believe that a majority of my Muslim friends have swayed to believe in the Obedient Wives Club causes. Surprisingly they are hardworking Muslim women who have through a lot when it comes to men.

Most of you will now go "Oh, really?"

Off to South Korea!

Rarely do I blog about work in this blog as I have Legal Cat-asthrophe to do that. However, I just wanna say that rarely do I leave my wife anymore due to work commitment. And now I have to as I am the 'perfect' candidate to do it and the potential for more business for my firm will be enormous due to certain people who are only known to me there.

So, as cliche as it sounds, I wanna say to my wife I'm leaving on a jet plane (and hoping to get a jetsetter badge on Foursquare for it) and I will be back as soon as I can. Love ya...

The trip is totally work related and although people like to associate South Korea with cute girls and guys, Korean drama, Samsung, Hyundai and such, mine will still relate to my law profession. Wait for updates when I am back from there on Wednesday.

7 Years on...

...and we still can't keep our hands off each other...

And yes, I am talking about my wife. I don't want to jinx anything, with this 8.8.10 will be our 7th year in marriage and everything, but I do believe that this is the secret of a long marriage. My wife seems to be in the same boat with me as we are actually really very much in love with each other physically.

Yeah, yeah, I know....TMI...etc but I just want to share that as much as we love the physical comfort, we are a great partner in business too. In making money and in our taste for books, food, travel and in quieter times, music and just talking.

I do sometimes get on her nerve as much as she gets on mine.

But, what is marriage without some spice...

p/s : If you are reading this dear, I appreciate last year's birthday gift and your new year's resolution too... :)

Flirting is Cheating?

Watched Glee just now and one Mrs Schuster said "Flirting is Cheating".

My wife asked me"Did you hear that honey?"

Hmmm... I tend to disagree (but didn't bother at that moment as I was engrossed with the show). Of course those who has commitment shouldn't flirt as you may not know where that will lead but you do flirt a lot if you even deal with any other human.

I mean, when you want something from someone, in order for you to get what you want, either to ask a waiter to hurry up with your order or to ask someone to change a tyre for you or even if you want that last piece of whatever you need at the store. It is just human nature.

Where you take the flirting....

Now, that is another matter altogether...

G-string

As a man, do you know that you need not fold a g-string before you put it away?

Before I was married, I never knew this.

When the battery is down

A man rarely act when he feels a bit of hot temperature on his body. I mean unless you are the lazy type who looks for a reason to sit at home and do nothing, a man who has ambition or somewhere to go (like getting that million dollar contract) will just brush off any feeling of a fever and still go out to work.

That is until he is hit by a real disease like a heart attack or hypertension. I actually was a workaholic once as I don't really have a life outside of my work. Nowadays, I just take thing easy and run the administration part of my business like someone who owns the company, not like some worker who needs to show his mettle to his boss.

So, when the battery is down, a person like me can take things easy and delegate. Like my wife always says, I am one person who really know how to delegate...

The mystery of the women's handbag

As a married man, I always know what is in my wife's handbag or I can actually garb it and have a lookee inside of it. However, when I was younger and single, I am at a lost of what is inside a woman's handbag as any other single man. We even think of it as a combustible thing which may explode any time we put our hands into it.

Nowadays, I even buy my wife his handbag like the coach bag below which can even cover up as a laptop carrier. Mystery? Not anymore.

How jealous should a partner be?

Weird huh? To ask this question. In these modern time surely there are no man or woman jealous enough to make their partner too restrictive in their movement. But, without any jealousy it all, a relationship, I believe, cannot be sustained.

Being jealous is being caring.

However, it is still need to be done in moderation. If both of you are working, it will be impossible for any one of you does not deal with any other people. What is important is for you to get to know your partner's colleagues. Do know what happen in your partner's life at work and who is who?

I am one of the jealous type and my wife was too of my business partner when she just got to know me. The solution for us to bypass our jealousy was different.

The greatest compliment vs. the worse insult

The greatest compliment a man can get to boost his ego is :

"Who needs sex toy when....(insert your performance rating here)'

And the worse insult a man can get is :

"Are you in yet?"

And whoever said size does not matter really loves you....

Open Communication

I always believe in a relationship, regardless of the feelings of the parties or the arguments that may ensure, the best way to foster that relationship is to talk. You may want to sulk in a corner and cry your eyes out. That will be fine too but the best way to keep on talking to each other after that.

Sometimes, as a man, although people say men who sulk look ugly, I sulk too. And sometimes it become a silent treatment competition between the two of us. Then the monotony will break, either because there are only the two of us or because of friends, things will be okay again. Do we let what happened to be something we let go and just be water under the bridge?

Usually, we still talk about it. And I think that is for the best...

Sex toy

I had this one flirtation with disaster once when I travelled from the United Kingdom to Malaysia. I was trying to bring in into Malaysia some sex toys. Not those hard core one which have association with the word S&M but just those curious toys which I might not even used (actually all are properly used until they were unusable).

This particular one was not even for me. It was for someone else. It was those type of sex toy that is to substitute the genitilia that men have. It buzz and it is easy enough to be hidden in my luggage. Except it was not with my checked-in luggage. In my haste, it was left in my carry-on.

That was until I had the bright idea of asking my female colleague to carry it in her purse. I said to her at least if it was discovered when we were still in Heathrow, it will just be a nod, nod, wink, wink type of embarassment and if it was in Malaysia, they would just confiscated it.

In UK, it passed the x-ray machine.

In Malaysia, it was nearly discovered but thanks to some ingenious method of luggage packing, it passed the muster of the immigration.

Then just a few days ago, I discovered the existence of something which rendered all those mission impossible style of smuggling of the 'toy' useless

To be continued in tommorrow posting

Being a good husband makes your wife boring with her friends

This is not an attempt trying to elevate my self-worth in any way. Hearing the exasperation in my wife's voice everytime she tells me this is enough reward for me.

She usually has girl's night outs with her girlfriends every now and then. As her office is also full of women and they are quite close with each other, the topics that they talk with each other are nearly the same. And one of their favourite topic is about their husbands (and children, but her contribution is our cats antics).

Which brings me to my wife being boring when it comes to this topic. The antic of their husband especially those whom usually do not pick up their discarded clothing, not washing dishes and not helping out. Which rarely happens in our house. She basically has no negative stories to contribute when in comes to that topic. She even comes to the conclusion that she should be thanking her mother-in-law for training her husband well in that department.

Men never mature

Heard one caller called a radio station the other day and as the topic was about women dating men younger than them, she exclaimed "Do not date younger men!". When asked why, she simply said "They are so immature". Then she said that she marries someone who is 3 years older than her.

I think she need a reality check. The radio announcers should have asked her whether that husband of hers is a real matured man or just as immature as any other men? Did he sulk if scolded or did he know where he stands in life? Does he pick up after he discarded his clothing? Does he helped around the house?

Just to make a point, most men don't do all this. And what does this falls under?

Yes, ladies. We never mature. We are all just big boys who have grown in size but we will always be boys, nonetheless. Whatever our age. 

Just check out that sulking old men whom you call your father.

How far would you go to mend a broken heart

I was having my iftar meal at the Curve with the wife last week when I saw a familiar face, eating alone. I was a bit unsure whether it was the right person but when he passed my table, I said his name and when he turned, I knew that it was a client/friend whom I have not met for nearly 4 years. I sent him Eid Fitri card every year but it was always returned. I got my answer as to why that happened then.

He no longer owns the company which I dealt with 4 years ago. He has sold his share and he has actually moved to Vietnam. He is a through and through Malaysian and that prompted my wife and I to ask why did he do that? Moving to a country which has nothing to do with him. He is a Malay who was born in Brunei with a mix of Chinese blood.

The answer was easy enough as we touched a bit on his beautiful house in an expensive 'village' area just near the place I met him, called Kg. Sg. Penchala. I mentioned this to my wife while explaining to her who this man is. He smiled and then said, he is divorced from that wife and gave her the house with everything in it. Then it hit us, he is based in Vietnam (with a Briton as his wife) as he is nursing a broken heart and building a new life (he did affirmed this as the conversation progressed).

Just out of curiosity, as I realise Vietnam is not that far from Malaysia and is nowadays accessible, how far would one go to nurse a broken heart? Some just go on with their life, picking up the pieces in the same town. Some, like my friend, travel hundreds of mile, building a new career and even selling of everything (he has nothing in Malaysia anymore).

If it was you?

Sexual bribe

All couple has been through this. One of them want something and asked it right after sex. Or in the middle of it. Some say, most women will do it at least once. In the throes of passion, while whispering sweet nothing, while the man is at the height of his passion.

Wham!

"Darling, do you think I can get that car you promised?", she said.

Huh!!???

Ever happened to you?

All is fair in love and war

Someone mentioned to my wife and I that we are fun to be with as we do not agree with each other all the time. 

Huh? Yep, that was the statement. 

The explanation was in contrast with all those lovey dovey couple who keep on agreeing with each other (or one of them will be agreeing with the other who seems to be the life of the party), we always have our own opinion. Those lovey dovey couple can always be agreeable but then after a few years (even months) breaks up and go their separate ways.

Yes, we argue or held our own opinion in a lot of things. We do not always see eye to eye and we will make a stand on certain issues even if that means we are on the opposing side. We tease each other about our shortcoming and we know each other likes and dislikes.

We are together as one couple but we treasure our individualism. We fell in love with each other due to this. No one among us is trying to change that. 

I hope we will be like this until our old age...Just like the movie Up! (which is another matter to blog about on another day)

Staple diet

The problem with me is that I don't really like my country or most of Asian countries staple diet. It is not a problem in the current modern time as we can get any type of food anywhere in Malaysia as even our past time is known to be eating. Yep, that is what we do most of the time. Eat! We eat during all mealtime and we plan for the in-betweens. Heck, we are so into eating that other than golfing, most business deals are closed at the lunch or dinner tables.

Everyone will eat rice at least once a day in Malaysia. There are so many types of food made from rice. White rice. Rice noodles. Sushi. Tapas from rice. All sort of rice based food. I basically do not have this tendency.

It is not a problem in my household as my wife and I basically love eating out. My wife even had to look for other people like my mother, her's and her friends if she had the craving for real Malaysian food. As for me, I stick to my diet which can consist of bread, chicken which is cooked in basically any which way and meat. Once in a while, I eat like any Malaysian and have rice. It is even worse if my wife want those meals which have durian in it. She has to ask permission and look for other companions.

So, during this Ramadhan, while people line up for their favourite food which can sometime only comes out during this special month, I just eat whatever my wife cook or buy. Even my parents do that and does not bother with anything special. I eat what they eat. Unlike if any one of my brothers come home. Then all their favourites will be there. As they usually asked for it. 

There is no one meal is my staple diet, except maybe the chicken. 

How about you?

Waking up for sustenance

Every morning, before the first light of dawn, during the fasting month, most Muslims will be waking up to eat some food. In Malay, the word to describe this eating before dawn is sahur and everyone has a story of how the learn to do this during their childhood.

My family consider sahur as a must. Some family choose to not do it at all as they will be eating whatever needed to sustain them during the day much earlier which is before everyone going to bed. As for my  wife and I, we do try to wake up at 4.30am for us to properly eat and drink. Unless we had a late supper.

I remembered the time when I was still a kid trying hard to wake up like I was taught to do. Even sat by the bedside as if I was awake but still in the throes of sleep. Or going to the table and then slept with my food in front of me. The trial of fasting is always deeply felt by kids more than adult.

Nowadays, fasting is just a month which we tend to take for granted except for the abundance of food we can acquire. I actually have limited myself since I was in my twenties to ignore the tradition of buying and eating too much. 

This year, with me managing to lose nearly 8 kg after a diet I followed, I am determined to stick to my usual way and eat lesser. And to add more activities which will be beneficial to me in the other world.

Happy Ramadhan...

 

Food rarely seen during other months