Friday, December 5, 2008


I have a friend who is having headaches due to the choices made by his children. The choice of their would-be spouses for two of them and the choice of one who had gotten married this year.

There is this saying in Malay "Diluah mati mak, ditelan mati bapak" - You swallow, you kill you father, you spit it out, you kill your mother. In short, damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Here are his dilemmas. He is a very conservative person. He was a politician from those days where the only superpower was that one party which had govern us forever. He married when he was 28 and he was known to be quite a playboy before and after marriage as he believe a man should always be in control of everything that happens in his house. He nearly married another as a second wife but was stopped by his own conscience even when he already knew the girl's family and spent time with them in America, and got his wife's comsent. He thinks of himself as an ultra Malay with strong moral compass borne out of living in a kampung environment. He has unshakable believes bordering toward controlling all that happens in his household.

But, he never expect his children to be so very liberal that he has to change his perception towards marriage and even towards life in general.

His test case started with his second child. His second son is now married to his own friend's daughter. This particular friend was his buddy when he still went to karaoke session and do various unmentionable things with those who served them in these 'palace of pleasure'. This friend also married a second wife who is 2 years older than his eldest daughter.

My friend was so disturbed when his son told him of their love affair. The son was even sent to Australia to try to break the couple off. No such luck. One of the reason the father tried to break the affair was due to the fact they were 4 years apart in age and the girl was older. That was 2 years ago. Last August they were married and now the girl is already pregnant. My friend has accepted the fact that they are in love and there is nothing that he can do to separate them.

Now, here are some new news which he confided in me two, three weeks ago. His eldest child, a daughter had just been engaged to a boy 5 years her junior and the boy is just 19 years old.

His third child, a boy, who is furthering his study in London is now in love with a Chinese girl who was studying with him in KDU before he flown there. The girl is arranging to further her study in the same area in London with her boyfriend.

My friend lamented that there is nothing he can do to make sure his children marry according to his belief. I know that the wife did play a part in influencing him but when I asked his son, the son said after he lost his seat in the state assembly, he became more 'mellower'...

Maybe, changes doesn't come in politics only. People can also change.

Even if they are old...


  1. cinta itu buta.
    19 tahun dah kata orang tu matang.

  2. pergh. menarik cerita nie bro. kusyuk baca sampai habis. tapi agak pelik, camne dier boleh conservative sedangkan playboy. patutnya dia la yang kene open minded. aneh

  3. Orang dulu2 agaknya memang biasa simpan mistress kut tapi ko kena kenal dia baru paham. Aku pun still tak paham...