Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Male bashing

I have just watched again the movie 'Guess Who' which starred the late Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher. In that particular movie, there was this scene where the two rivalling men, who were left to sleep on their own when both managed to anger their spouse/partner respectively the night before. The ladies have been having a whole night of male bashing session in which they drank until they were drunk. The guys did the same thing but what they talked about was on how to get back on their partners' good side. The same premise was used before in Jerry Maguire in which Tom Cruise had to actually beg Renee Zellweger character to accept him back. With that "You complete me!" speech in front of her sister's divorcee support group. Cruise really had it tough there...

What do women actually talked about in these sessions? They already are in control of their men's life, clothings and activities. They will be the one who arrange the comings and goings of their husbands and they are the one who should know everything about their spouse's life. When they lose control of this, especially for older couple, due to a change in lifestyle (retirement) or something which trigger the men to act differently (new hobby), the women will suddenly feel they have lost that control which was in their hands before. This is the moment matters can get out of hand and arguments can result more than just one of the party stomping off into the bedroom.

So, losing control of what, how, where and when something happens in the life of their spouse. Some may be under the control of their spouse and they are a different creature altogether. When they manage to summon the courage into breaking free of the shackle that they have been under, they would sometimes be fiery than a dragon being awoken. Whether that is for the better or for the worse is anyone's guess.

Let us look back at the movies. In the first movie, the male bashing session is due to the foolishness of Bermie Mac character in dealing with his daughter's boyfriend issue. It was not an issue of a wrong being done but more of someone's feeling being slighted and having accumulate over the years these unforgiving feelings, the wife suddenly felt it was time for some lesson. 

In Jerry Maguire, Jerry did not heed the advice of his friend who asked him to search his heart first before taking the plunge and when the crunch time comes, he did not manage to convince the woman in his life that he really love her. The support group in which Jerry had to make his case was Renee's character's sister's group who met every week and support each other as everyone had a worse story to tell on how they became a divorcee.

In my own experience, I sometimes have to endure the male-bashing session in my office full of women especially if the conversation starts with "Men!". In those session which I can make my exit, I try to do it as quietly as possible before they notice me as one of 'them'. The problem is being a few of the male in the office, I do tend to be caught in the crossfire. Especially if we decided to have lunch together and suddenly someone was reminded of something that their spouse or partner had done the night before.

Any story of your own of an all-out male bashing session?


  1. I have to say yes this can and does happen but it can go both ways. I had no control over my husband who pretty much went where he wanted and did what he pleased. I tried to be the good wife at home, raising our children, caring for them etc. If I wanted to go somewhere even with a sister I got a lecture and was told we had no cash but if he wanted to do something he did it. I was not mad about him having freedom, I just wanted some too. When I preferred him to stay home I got labeled a nagging wife. Yeah I have to say it just depends. I finally did get tired of it though...and you are right. You cannot control your spouse like that, nor should you.

  2. hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

  3. Soul Mates - Can't really give any ideas as to each his/her own. Good luck with that

    Hapi -Thanks for stopping by