Scheduled sex

So, we were ask to do something which we never would have thought to be ask, ever, within our lifetime. To have sex. To have sex at a precise time, to be exact. In short, a scheduled sex session. It was like taking a page out of a how-to book or a romance novel for adult which revolves around a couple of sex society right? Or like those couple who have kids. Nope. It was a schedule that we have to keep in order for us to have the best chance to conceive.

Yes, we are trying and as this is our 6th year of marriage without the pitter patter of a small feet to colour our lives, we are resorting to a lot of medical or traditional advice. Of course we have done all that we could do ourselves trying to have one. Sex positions, exercises, concoctions, pills, you name it. Been there, done that. The only one we still have not tried is the 35% chances of IVF which could cost a lot. We are of the opinion as the insemination is done outside and all, that would be our last option. Even after adoption.

As it was the first time we were in a situation (technically speaking) where we were going to have sex at an exact hour, we tried to relived our dating days. SMS during working hours saying naughty things. A simple dinner at home. Romantic movie (Sex in the City, which we haven't seen).

To tell the truth that night it was not the session itself which was special. It was the whole day. The 'procedure' was just an excuse. For all the romantic escapade which we like to have in the city sometimes, doing it at your own house can sometimes be as meaningful. Hmmmm.... Maybe I should schedule this every other week.

Bowel movements...

Every morning, without fail, I will be sitting on the throne and do my thing before I face the day. Sometimes, if lunch is a gastronomic experience which all Malaysian can appreciate, I will already be going to the loo to clean up my stomach of those excess food in the afternoon. In short, bowel movements sometime play an important part of the daily schedule. That is why it is important for that first load to be properly dispose of at the start of the day. Why is this important? I know quite a few of my friends who seem to have a hard time to do this on a daily basis. Even once.

I was a sceptic on the importance of having a good digestive system long ago. It was suppose to be a disgusting and unworthy of all the time people spend discussing whilst having to take medicine or elixir to help them do this on a regular basis. Then, as I expand the circle of my friends and grow older, I found out that if we don't keep this matter in check, there are a lot of disease that one can catch if one does not clear themselves of the toxic that they need to get out of their digestive system. Some of those who are the same age of me had already been cut up and had their kidney stone taken out. Some suffer from constipation so bad that the only way the can only hit the can (pun intended) when they have taken some kind of pill to help them do it.

What has this got to do with relationship? I questioned a few people on what they feel is the most enjoyable thing that they can do in their lifetime. Sex or sitting on throne? Some just laugh at the question and say of course sex is the best thing that they could ever feel. Some says relieving yourself is the best feeling ever. Some say both. Some just couldn't decide. Simple question right? I always say the latter is the best feeling ever even if I have the ability to do it everyday. 

Just imagine in your old age or if you are sick. Do you think about sex or hitting the can?

'Food' for thought huh?

Anniversaries

When you are married, one of the thing that you will have to let go is celebrating those anniversaries that most women love so much to do. The first kiss. First movie. The engagement date. The day you declare to the world that you are a couple. The first XXX things that you do with each other. So many first you can list out as you would be trying to capture all that you have done or haven't done together. All these things are small gestures that you want to capture, bottle it up and put it on the shelf of your memory. The nooks and the crannies that you call life.

Then you get married....

All those anniversaries? Poof!!! Gone. You need to remember only 3 celebrations. The day you get married. Your birthday (as if you can forget that) and hers or his. That is it!!! Unless you have kids then there are more that three celebrations. Unless your families and hers/his are big on celebrating whatever anniversaries together. Like the 30th anniversary of his or her parents. You know the type which mine aren't. Thank God for small favours.

Those other celebrations that you had before are just the prelude and excuses for you to but your other half some gifts. And to spoil her/him with a dinner and/or a date. Okay, let me be frank. I believe this celebration-at-every-date is a scam demand imposed unreasonably by the womenfolks on the menkind. Okay, I am too harsh. But I still think we don't need to many dates to celebrate. Even the most important one we forgets and now you want us to remember the others? Tough luck...

The girl in the red dress

In the movie the Matrix, one of the test that was given to Neo is for him to go on a walkabout in a controlled Matrix system, developed by one of his fellow freedom fighter. In that control environment, he was to be aware of his surrounding less any one of the Matrix agent will take advantage and catch him. As he was walking among uncaring pedestrian, a girl in a red dress walks by, he was distracted, and an agent made an appearance in front of him, he was caught and he failed the test.

Back to the real world where men and women live happily as couples, there is this normal occurance, which happen at least once in that couple's love life. While they are out dating, whether at a park, eating at a restaurant or walking down the road, the man is distracted by another woman. Whether it was due to the person's looks. The dress which may be a bit more revealing. Or just that the girl is considered sexy, which is subjective, to the guy's eyes. The guy will at least glance through his eyes, either a full eyeball's view or just using the skill of peripheral vision. No guy can resist watching another attractive girl pass him by without trying to steal a glance.

In my relationship, I am glad I have a wife who seems to be, not just allowing me to have a wandering eye, sometimes she is the one who spotted such girls or women and points it out to me. I know it maybe a bit weird and rare, and I know those who does that even endorse their husbands to do more than that (swingers group anyone?). Even when we were honeymooning in this island called Phi Phi Island where the beachcombers love to run around topless, she also kind of 'helped' me to ogle all those who have these exhibitionist traits. It is a thing which we had developed since we were dating and people watching especially in places of high traffic do become our favourites. And I know quite a few couple who does it together too....

If it's a model on a catwalk, I can ogle as much as I want

What will you be remembered for?

So, he won. You might be thinking who? Then you are one of the rare people who don't care about the happenings in that faraway land called Hollywood (although you may live just across the road to the signage). I am talking of course about Heath Ledger, as expected, winning the supporting actor Oscar. Yes, that make believe land where everything is rosy and will never be affected by the economic woes and real life. Or is it?

Just to make a point, the film that manage to surprise filmmakers and those in front of the screen is Slumdog Millionaire. It is about the rags to riches story of a man who manage to win the Who wants to be a Millionaire gameshow in India. The start of the movie will show you how he was being tortured by a policeman who just couldn't believe he did it through his own initiatives. So, the story is his journey in life and how he learned what he has learnt. 

Last night had a story of rags to riches of its own. Penelope Cruz. Heath Ledger. Slumdog. Danny Boyle. All came not from America. When Penelope mentioned her hometown, I bet no one in the audience came from there. Heath was the breed of actors coming from Australia who for the past few years had conquered Hollywood through their acting skills eclipsing even the best that America had to offer. As for Danny Boyle, he epitome the best film I ever know when I was an undergraduate. He was the one who adapted and directed Trainspotting in which it shows the the cocaine addiction of a group of friends living in Edinburgh speaking with unknown English accent. Ewan McGregor and Robert Carlyle were discovered through that film.Through that film, I discovered Irvine Welsh other books, which I love.

Back to Heath, that must be great for him right? At least that must be a good way to be remembered for right? Winning something after you are dead and people keep on harping on the good that you have done and trying to forget how you really died....

Scary movie

I have not seen scary movies for quite sometimes. Its not a choice but more of an understanding between me and my wife. My wife is averse to scary movie you see. She wouldn't touch a scary movie with a ten feet pole. I have to actually find another person to go and watch it with me or go see it alone. Oh, I am one of those who can watch a movie alone without any problem as I can gorge myself on the popcorn and the Coke. And although sometimes watching movie at 3pm sometimes left you alone in the theater, I actually love the feeling as if you own the theater like those who have it.

I myself never consider this as a big problem as I have pass the phase of this phobia of 'things lurking behind' closed door/closet/whatever. I was so scared of the unseen that I even wouldn't close the door when I went to the bathroom. It lasted until I was 9 years old as I followed my parents who were Felda senior officers who were given government quarters as part of their benefit. As my father was the highest ranking officer in one of the division in Pahang, he was given this huge bungalow which has wings nearly as big as 2 badminton court. I had to sober up quickly from my fear as I was always left alone when they went outstation to attend to their work. There was also these big birds which like to tap, tap on my window like the Raven in Poe's poem (seriously!).

Back to the issue on scary movie. As it was a pact that have lasted for quite some years since we got married, I have learned to live with the embargo. Although I do love watching scary movie, although they are rarely a first choice, it is agreed that I can still go and watch the movie as long as my wife don't have to accompany me. So, the movies like Ju-On (a scary Korean movie) and some others were watched alone. As for popular horror movie, like those vampire movies, my wife do accompany me but nearly half of it she will spend behind her hands or my shoulder. At least, during that time, I do have company which sometimes is better than watching alone...

Smoking auntie

No. Not a MILF like what I have written last week which you can access here.

This is about these aunties who smoke cigarettes which you can find nowadays at hotel's lobby or just about everywhere. They will light up their choice of smoke faster than the men and they can hold it up as stylish as any film star of old. Some looks like they have just finish cavoting with Audrey Hepburn like in that classic picture from Breakfast at Tiffany's.

And don't mistake it as a new phenomena as I have a grandauntie once who smoked like nobody business. The type of cigarette that she smoked? A now-defunct cigarette called Signal. The box of this cigarette is orange with a green stripe in the middle. And the picture shown on it is a picture of a train's signal of the old west where a light and two woods on a pole act as warnings of incoming train for road users.

Oh... That just brings back a lot of memories. But these smoking aunties I see around KL nowadays? I think they are a dying breed although I see too many young ladies picking up the habit. Too many people nowadays become cautious of the need to maintain a healthy lifestyle and they are cramping these aunties style. Maybe then they will change their preference to those cigarette where you need to roll it before you can smoke it. Then, that would really make them feel their age...

Cuddling

Don't you just love it when you have the time to just lay there on the bed, early in the morning, without having to move and reach by your side for whoever is lying there and cuddle? A likely scenario for those who have that special someone, especially for those who are married.

Some don't like doing it in the morning except on Saturdays and Sundays as they will be in a hurry trying to get back to work. Some will be too busy with their children that they wouldn't dream of taking their own sweet time when it comes to waking up. Being busy and being unable to do this simple act of love will sometimes torn a relationship apart. Other time it will just create a barrier which might then create a space perfect for further abuse.

Other than a cuddle after sleep, the best time to cuddle is thought to be after sex by most women. After having given themselves to the man that they love, women would love for that vulnerable time to be fill with talk of assurance full of love. At least an affirmation that their other half love them as much as the act that they had perform together. Men, being a creature of physical prowess usually think that their performance is the only thing that matters.

Believe me, I sometime did the same mistake.. Better to indulge in this simplest form of affection, whether you are the type who loves showing it to the whole wide world or just in the private than to just let everything revolve around how good you are in bed.

 

Can this be considered as cuddling

Girlie magazine

Not porn but magazine for women. Why are they so thick? You need to go through a lot of advertisements (see my posting on Ads for women) before you can get to the articles or pictures. That is why sometime you see women just flipping one after another page before stopping by at a particular page which interest them. 

There are so many advertisement and they can process the advertisement that pass through their mind in very fast that they only need just a glance before actually stopping at the important one for them. Observe any one of them flipping a woman magazine if you don't believe me. I saw my mom, my wife and my business partner do it. Especially when they are at the hair saloon.

How do I know all this? I mean, how do I know what are the contents of women's magazine? Of course, I am those not so rare breed of men who reads women magazine nearly every month. Eager even, awaiting for those that my wife buys on an irregular basis as she does not have a particular favourite. Cleo, Women's Weekly, Bazaar, Female and some others. I sometimes go into waiting rooms at clinics or saloons while waiting for them finish doing whatever that they are there for just so I can flip through the latest one. Dome Restaurant is also a favourite eating place as they have all sort of magazines either for women or men.

Once I was told, it was a big no, no for men to go through women magazine. I don't think that is a problem anymore as I have seen men sitting down at Border's flipping through them just like it was made for them. Even the publishers have noticed this and adds a few pages for the men.

You got the latest Cleo? Can I borrow it awhile?

Girl 'friend'

Can a man be friend with a woman or a girl? Usually, when you are still young, unlike me, this question will come up at least once as you grapple with the fact there are other ways for you to be nice to that girl in your class other than it being construed as making a pass at her. You might also be tempted later to try to ask her out on a date but if you have passed the 'friend zone' it was said that you rarely can go back. In the television series FRIENDS, this has become the recycle topics again and again the whole 10 season it was aired. Ross and Rachel, then Joey with Rachel, then Monica with Chandler, then Ross with Rachel again, then.... I lost the plot actually in the middle of it, although I love the jokes being bandied around by the series.

In my opinion, it is maturity that plays a part in whether you can or cannor befriend the other gender. As in my case, how can I not, I am just but one male partner in a legal firm full of women who are more than capable in certain area of the law than me. We divide our work accordingly and we have our own role to play when it comes to management. Why is this relevant to the question whether man and woman can becomes friend? I started out as university friends with my partner since 1992 and then we became closer when we opened up our firm. We supported each other during our early years as there was not much money to go around and we went through times of being single, dating other people (we never dated each other though) until now when we are happily married to our own choice of spouse.

It may have stemmed from the fact I have always able to befriend women as much as I can connect with men. Don't be fooled by this as I led a women-hating club (though we only hated a group of them from my batch) once in my early days of university like some children on playground. And my current business partner was one of the member of that particular group of girls which we hated. It was so childish as we thought then we were God gifts to humankind. However, during that time, I was the one who finally made peace with our 'enemy' and befriend a few of the girls in that group. Some became quite close to me as I even ask her to vet a few of my girlfriends when I started to date seriously in view of marriage.

As I said, as we grow old, friends come in many shape and gender. Some you connect through being in the same space as them. Some you met through these wonder of internet connection. Some was lover who later become friend. Some are just there for you when you need them. Just ensure all this girl'friend' that you have, let your other half know, unless you have ulterior motive, that is...

Libido

When you have been married for a while, the desire to get naked and do the horizontal lambada become less and less pronounced. Work, fatigue and even laziness crept in. Sometimes, you don't expect to 'do' it that night then the signal was sent out and you must at least reciprocate in a way. For my household where there are only the two of us, unlike those with kids, we don't actually need a set time for us to get frisky. Our lives for the past 6 years have been like one long date. And no, I am still not bored with my wife. I don't think I ever will.

It is just that when we were still young, we think that having sex is a mysterious things and that joke about how a woman's body and a man body react to it (where a woman's body like Africa, waiting to be discovered, etc) is actually quite true as man and woman react differently when confronted with the chance to have sex. It is not as if there is a need for you to overanalyse, as sex comes naturally when you have done it year after year. What made it different is the intensity of the act which can be quite intense, moderate or just plain wham, bam, thank you madam, kind of sex. Of course, as much as every man wants to be call a stud, not all sessions will be as such. There are the repetitive ones as familiarity crept in.

That is why, to increase the libido of each other, a change in scenery like short getaway, different places within the household and of course, toys and lingerie becomes a must to spice things up. Even the man need to do some effort in this department as just lying there (or is that the woman?) or doing the same thing over and over again won't just cut it. Doing it with gusto like those scenes you see in a porn movie might not be as frequent you would like to do or believe you did. In truth, reality is not at all like what is portrayed in those films. Like the joke goes, why couldn't what happen in porn movie like when you walk around the neighbourhood someone offer to have sex with you.

To increase libido here in this country, there are a lot of concoctions and pills for you to use to give the illusion of a stud. From the mundane Red Bull, which may work for some or the infamous Long Jack (Tongkat Ali) and even for the women in the form of Kacip Fatimah or a few others. For men it basically make your tool of the trade stands up for quite some times and for the women, you will have boundless energy to entertain your love ones. Even then, if your really are not in the mood, would you still do all this just to make sure that this one part of your love life is kept alive although some other parts are troubled?

Secret Diary of A Call Girl

Some of you may know it but some of you may just have read the book or the blog. Thanks to the beauty of the internet, I have watched all the episodes in Season 1 and Season 2 (except 2.5 which seems to be missing) of this interesting television series about the ups and downs of a London call-girl who spill all of her career history. It will of course, never comes to be shown in the Malaysian television as the subject of a working girl will never find it's way through the Malaysian censorship board, but you might never know as I thought I will never see the Sopranos on Malaysian TV and it is now being shown (although I have seen all of the episodes more than once on the net)

The blog and the books that the television series are based on are titled Belle de Jour : Diary of a London Call Girl but the title was shorten for the television series. Maybe they just want to say that you can displaced the call girl anywhere and they don't want the stigma of the series to skewed towards London only. But, who cares why the name of the series is not what the name of the source it was taken. I didn't even know that the blog or books exist before the series. Heck, maybe the real call girl has already become rich than she could possibly imagine.It must be a dream to a few of those who has a blog to achieve what the owner of the blog had managed to do.

The star of the series is someone my wife can relate to although I am more interested when she is naked. Her name is Billie Piper who is supposed to have done a few stints when she was still a  young lady as a singer. I actually may have heard of her but never really know her. Maybe she is famous in UK once but for the life of me, I can't remember her. Maybe her songs did played on the radio once but I may have forgotten it. Anyway, it seems that she started acting only after 2003 in television series which you can only find in BBC, which is not a favourite among Malaysian (unless you are a cult TV series follower of Dr. Who)

However, the Secret Diary series is also a kind of a naughty way for my wife and I to enjoy a show which can actually excite us both in the bedroom. It is not that we try to imitate what was shown on TV but with the show being classified as "18" in the UK television and shown late at night, you can just imagine the scenes that are shown. It becomes like when we watch the L Word although we never finished the series yet. And the Secret Diary seems to be heading for a 3rd Season although the 2nd Season finale had her appearing in a talk show as if she had retired from being a call girl.

Come back Belle, I can't wait to see what you have more up your knickers...

Common ground

They say you can always choose your friends but not your relatives. This is true in a sense but is less truer in Asian community where the parents and siblings still play a part when you dated and marry someone. So, you do have to conform to the standards that your family believe in and you may even have to forgo your dream of having a Caucasian boyfriend or girlfriend. As globalisation seeps into all aspect of life, these norms are no longer a norm but a rarity.

That is why there is a need for in-laws either the mother or the daughter or the brother or the father, to find some common ground to stand on so that they can bear each other. For men, who always use brute force to assert their authority, the father-in-laws just need to show who's boss by claiming the best seat or the best steak. The son-in-law rarely had to play politics when it comes to this matter. Unless the father-in-law is asked to by the mother-in-law. As long as the boundary is observed, the ice will rarely thaw and each person will stick to their own turf.

On the other side of the coin, the women will always try to play the politics whether they choose to or not. As the prize will be the heart and soul of the man that they love, for the mothers, their sons and for the wife, their husbands, they consider another woman, although that woman may have the right to it, telling their son or husband how to do certain things, will be a territorial dispute waiting to erupt. Men, being a creature of habit, will have to break free from either one of the conquering force to make a decision on his own, which may actually be a form of free will.

So, it is actually very refreshing and triumphant even when the man of the house manage to get all the counter parties to go and have a good time together in the form of shopping at one of their favourite mall. Whether that work or not, is another matter...

Cool-ness

When I was a strapping young lad, one of the movie which I love to watch again and again was Bill & Ted's Adventures either the first one or the one where Death made an appearance. The reason? It's cool... As that movie has Keanu Reeves as one of it's character, during those years, I even think Tom Cruise is cool. With their hair and their boyishness and all the cool move that they do, either in a jet fighter or just walking, they are the epitome of cool.

Cool have always being associated with being able to stay in control of the situation although in truth you may not be able to do anything if ever anything ever happens. In movies, unless the script dictates, the character can actually walk through fire without dying. When we are still a kid, our older brother is considered as cool as he can already do things we are still to do. Our parents are also those who can do no fault. Unless you come from a broken home or no home at all, that is.

It can be said that just by looking cool does not mean you are cool. As in you feel cool, not irritated. All boys when they see a beautiful girl or woman, when they are still young and inexperience (it can happen to men too, I know) thinks that this beauty of a thing will never feel pressured and they have the world in their hands. In reality, it may not be so. Being cool onstage does not mean being cool in life. Through a few reality show like America's Top Model and what the Donald showed in his own The Apprentice where the celebrities became the contestant, some of those who are supposed to be cool are not at all.

Is it really necessary to be cool?

MILF

From what I know, this term comes from one of the most successful sex website in which a guy will look for these ladies whom he labelled as Mothers I Love F@$$^ing. So, in this day and age, the term stuck and even in my circle of friends, the girls would compliment their friends who already got married and have children with this term. In that website, the guy will go to unsuspecting women, who may or may not be a mother, but is matured enough to be one, ask them to come to his wife and then they will suddenly feel frisky enough to have sex together (sometimes this simplistic and unreal presentation by these porno sites make it look like it is as easy as that in real life)

Ever know any one of this woman who falls under this category? I know quite a few and to tell you the truth some of them are my wife's friends. And, I do tell my wife about it. But, of course, I don't act on it or anything but it is the more perverted part of me doing this mental exercises which I bet most women do too but not as apparent. Ladies, it is just our way of ensuring a healthy and exciting time on the bed at night when we are with you.

Bakc to the MILF, we have them in our neighbourhood and some just are hot in their own ways. They may even cause people to fell over backward trying to impress them with whatever trick that they know. Just like kids do in playground, men do it too, all the time. They will secretly steal a glance, twice or thrice, if opportunity permitted and if they have the chance they will try to get near to the person. For the bold one, they will chat them up and even treat them more like a lady than the husband would. This will even happen if the husband is near.

Even in the Hollywood circle, having a child or children is actually a status symbol nowadays and not a stigma anymore. The hottest one that people know like Angelina Jolie and even Madonna, who no one would ever dream as a mother once, are parading their kids with gusto and with pride. How much hotter can a mama be?

Bathing together

This post is actually a request from one of my frequent reader (I myself never believe I have even one of those, but it's true) She really thinks that there should be an essay on the issue of couple showering together and what happens when they do this stuff.

To tell you the truth, I have a bit of a problem in this matter. It is not that I never do it or anything but I just felt uncomfortable when I am in a bathroom and there is another person in it. I was not a big fan of having a lot of people together in one communal bathroom when I was in secondary school. I would like to do my business in private as I have a lot of things to throw out from my body, to clean those places which I would like to do myself (as I feel I am the only person who knows whether it is totally clean or not) and to trim or cut or whatever that you do with those hair which seems to grow in strange places. 

Don't get me wrong. I love being naked. Either alone or with the one I love. It is just that I would rather it be in the bedroom and not the bathroom. I have this one friend who seems to always talking about taking a bath together as they were always doing this while they bathe their child. He sometimes tell this to us when  we had finished playing a game of tennis and were having some drinks after. That was one of the cue of him trying to go back early. He was quite a looker and when he said this, I could see the look of a few of the women who were sitting with us to suddenly glazing over imagining him taking a bath with them. 

For my everyday bath, as I tend to stay quite some time in the bathroom and the timing of the bath is usually very much different with my wife who always on the clock as she works from 9 to 5, I rarely do this on a regular basis. However, if the location is a place with a bathtub and we don't have to contend with cleaning up afterward, taking a bath together is sometime a preamble to more intimate activities. 

Call it more of a foreplay if you will, rather than a full blown jiggy session.

From afar

I sometimes have his tendency to admire people from afar. I mean, I want the illusion of them being perfect to never be shattered. I think there is a song about this illusion that people tend to have on other people. For the life of me, I just don't know what song or how it goes...

I think as a man, we learn as we get older that a woman we see on the street who looks as if she is in control of everything or even a man who dress sharply, does not necessarily mean that she or he is in control of everything. Carrying yourself with confidence and with a demeanor of someone in control, you will give the image of a person who is in control.

In reality, every human has a flaw. The model who catwalks on the runaway had to be trained to look that confidence as they strut around, sometimes in such a flimsy clothings that you just wonder how they can look indifference in the cold of the hall or the heat of the place where the photo shoot is being done. How about those who walks around in clothing which actually make the wearer sweat but they seems to be poise and as cool as ice... Makes you wonder huh?

That was what I felt once. Nowadays, as I have people who are around me which look poise and confident  but can be totally opposite in private, I know that the illusion that people create to show a persona to live by is just another facade which can help one maintain his or her demeanor. Whatever their profession, their background and their upbringing.

Long distance remote control

I have this friend once who was studying in Australia and his future wife, who is of course now is his wife, was staying in Malaysia and was already working. They had this thing which is called a long distance relationship. The relationship was a very straining one as the father of the guy was trying to break them off and the girl was adamant in keeping her love. They succeed in the end.

The way the girl did it? By keeping tap of everything, I mean, everything of what the guy do in Perth. I mean, EVERYTHING. She would call every other hour and ask what he is doing and with whom. Whether he was going to class. Whether he was playing football with his friend. Whether he was driving off somewhere for the weekend with some of his friend. 

I was there with his father one day (he was basically my friend's son then but now is already my friend in a way). We were looking around the town for a house as an investment. As I am more of the son's age than the father, at night we were out in town doing things that students do. Going to the hangout place of his friends. Going to the casino in town just trying our hand in some gambling (which we suck). Going to some clubs around town in which I let him sit around with his friends trying to ignore the fact he may be drinking, which he wouldn't me to see. 

That club trip was not conveyed to his girlfriend back home. The other trips like to the casino or the other places were duly conveyed as she called nearly until we went back to the hotel I was staying with his father. The remote did not have a good reception after all...

A cup of joe

It is official. Starbucks does not have the best coffee (according to Yahoo! Shopping) . They only have the best marketed coffee. They took the beans from various places like Colombia and Indonesia, repacked it nicely, put their label there and then sell it over the counter at all these fancy restaurants as if they are the best cup of joe that one can ever tasted. Whether that is true or now, there was never a discussion

Then you have a film like The Bucket List which starred Nicholson and Freeman who keep on harping Coffee Luau as the best coffee in the world which is extracted from the droppings of civet cats which live in Sumatra. Now, why does little old me, a guy who live in a country which is surrounded by the two island in which coffee are grown and sold off as commodities need to go to a western country shop to experience the best coffee in town? 

There is this one coffee shop at the affluent neighbourhood of Bangsar which sells all the type of coffee in Malaysia which nearly runs up to 25 places as the name of the coffee is attributed to it's place of origin. The name Chawan is the old spelling of the Malay word 'cawan' which translate to 'cup'. There are a lot of kopitiam or coffee shop which came from the Chinese type of coffee shop in Malaysia and they also sold wicked coffee. The most commercial coffee beans in Malaysia comes from Indonesia and labelled as Kopi Kapal Api or the Lighthouse Coffee. It is sold in a packet as big as Starbuck's own coffee at a much cheaper price. This is the coffee I get if I ask anyone of my staff to make coffee for me.

Yes I know, Starbucks sell the ambiance. The plush sofa. The free wifi. The status symbol, if you can call it that. But, I need to digress by saying that in this current climate, I, who only drink black coffee, which is not even added any sugar to it, will now stick to that. Drinking coffee and not some unpronounceable tall machiato or whatever....

 

Fancy but it is still just coffee

The first kiss

Do you remember yours?

Not with those persons who you just meet once or twice or if you are a serial dater, those lips you keep on kissing for the first time, every other night. Two movies come in mind, Hitch and Bad Boys, both have the same actor acting in it, Will Smith. In Hitch, his character tried to teach the character of Kevin Conolley on how to kiss properly for the first goodnight kiss. In the second movie, the wife of Martin Lawrence refused to be kissed by Will Smith character as she said "I know where that mouth been last night"

The kiss that actually seal the deal with your loved one. It can be anywhere. In private. In public. In the car or in the restaurant. It can be good or it can be bad. It can actually bring the relationship somewhere or it just wasn't meant to be. When it happen, you just know....

In my life it happened at the perfect time with the perfect girl for me and it happened after a perfect date. It was nine years ago to this day. It is for me and her to know as she is now the woman of my life. All anniversary are off after you got married (which is another posting at another day) but that one kiss that seal the deal...

PRICELESS...

OPAL v Luxury goods

As I have posted in various other posts either in this blog or my other blog - Legal Cat-asthrophe, I just came back from a shopping haven in Indonesia. It is a place where the line between the original merchandise and the imitation is blurred. When I went down to Indonesia's capital Jakarta, I still shopped for the real thing but now I refrained myself from buying the shirts and clothes which I see is actually of even poorer quality than the imitation. Although it is supposed to be fashionable to wear t-shirts which shouts it's message, I found these shirts made under certain brand to be too showy and actually of lower quality than those made supposedly under license.

As for the title of this posting OPAL refers to Original Palsu, a term use to describe these license goods or imitation goods. We were told that the factories for certain brands were once set up within the vicinity of the town. Some are still there and the clothes that they are selling are defective goods or discontinued line of clothing or fashion. Remember that documentary film, which is the breakthrough film by uber film director Michael Moore on Nike using Indonesia as the base for it's sweatshop? That is why they are selling Nike they say. Whether it is true or not, I actually do not care too much as the quality seems to be on par with the clothes in the real Nike store. And I am not even sure whether there are still Nike factory around that area. If they are still there, shouldn't the executives who are assigned to monitor the production there raises hell with the government on the existence of imitation goods?

It is not actually some new news when it comes to other countries having these imitation goods on sale. In Malaysia, there are streets which are famous for it. In most Chinatown, there are such trade. In one episode of Sex and the City, the affluent Samantha Jones bought some imitation bags from a guy in Brooklyn before finding out that he was nearly raided. So, it is not that rare of a business. It is everywhere. But when i comes to finding nearly every brand in one big store with good air conditions and so many of those store, in one place, that place I went really take the cake.

Older spouse

Older men or older women. Would you date them or even marry them?

I actually have quite a history with older women when I was in my twenties. If not for one of them, I would never have met my wife (this story I still have not told although I already have this blog for months). Older women with younger men are not that rare considering there are not many men to begin with in the world today. Don't you think that the population of male is fast eroding. The maxim either they are gay or taken lamented by single straight girls are truer by the day. 

So, you seen them everywhere. If you are single, sometimes you hated them for making the pool smaller for you. I know a few types of them. Those who are still young but dated or marry someone who is just 5 to 6 years older than them. Those who are still young but marry those who are 10 to 15 years older than them. Those who just turn legal then went on to marry someone waaaaaaaaayyyyyy older spouse. Then there are the separation between men and women.

Cradle snatcher. Razor blades. Lolita. Sex maniac to put it harshly. And many more. Some is just a name to label the act which people consider as not kosher even in this day and age. Even if the difference is just 2 years between them. For them, the norm is for the men to be a bit older say between 1 to 5 years and both are at the marriageable age of 20s or 30s. I know this one friend of mine who insist that the best difference in age is 7 years and then his son married someone 5 years his senior and his daughter went out with someone who just turn 18 while she is 25. Now they are engaged. 

How ironic is that?

Pets

How can you not have one? Even when you have kids? At least a fish. Or fishes. I have fishes, lots of them and cats. Just for me to take care of and love and a kind of a place for me to feel wanted. Unconditionally. Not that I don't know people do the same thing as in loving you unconditionally like a mother does to her child but talking to cats can actually do you good. A lot. 

These cats were actually never had a chance to live in my house once as my wife is afraid of cats. She just hated it when they couldn't keep their paws to themselves when she eats in restaurants and she also had a personal bad experience when her mother, who suffered from diabetes was attacked by a cat for no apparent reason which actually required her to be stitched. It was horrific and until now we just couldn't understand why the cat attacked. 

However, one day, there was this sound on our backdoor. When my wife opened it, lo and behold, there were four cats who were just being born left on our doormat. Their mother did comes back after some time but my wife was hooked. She thought they looked like rats but then she did not want them to die as they looked cold. I put them in a box lined with some rags and left them at the back of our houses. When they started to look like cats, my wife just couldn't have enough of them looking adorable and cute. That was when we let them in. Two of those cats have died but one of them gave birth to another two before we decided to neuter the females. Now we have four of them and they are actually those that we think the most when we go away. And they even have their own budget every month.

 

 At rest...

  

 At their naughtiest

 

You need us for what again?

Swearwords

'Swinging bowl!' and 'lamb on a grill', that is basically how I swear. I do swear properly with words such as "S*%T" or "F?%*&^%$G AS@$^&LE" if I am really mad but people will usually know that I am mad when they see my face turning red and my tone of voice starting to rise. Though my face also turn red when I feel embarassed and I like to raise my voice when I want to make a point. So, if both are present at the same time, then I am really ready to go into exploding mode.

But, as a general rule, being angry does not mean that I would swear. Unless I am alone in car and no one is beside me to hear me swearing. So, the swinging bowl or mangkuk hayun and lamb on a grill or kambing kena panggang (sometimes the kambing kena masak kicap, tengok mood). Anyway, it is like swearing by not swearing. I mean, it's not as if I am trying to shield a child ear from hearing bad things (hear no evil?) as I don't have a child but it was born out of my reluctance of not trying to say bad words without needing to.

It was even picked up by my brother and used extensively when he cursed and swear but his reason is more for the sake of his sons. So, it even help people to not lose too much control on what comes out of their mouth. One of my friends had no control of when she swear that she once sweared a bad word (very bad) in front of my mother and until now she still feel embarrased for that one time she created a scene in front of her.

What's your favourite swearwords?

Never forget a face

It may be a curse or a blessing, according to how you see it. I rarely forget a face although I am bad at remembering names. Really bad. Even those who I already know for years. I can even sometimes forget a name even while I am talking with the person. And I am also good at covering this facts with certain tricks.

The faces that I have met may sometimes be at a function in which that person I met albeit briefly. It maybe someone I saw in my university like yesterday when I was at IKEA in Damansara. This guy was one of the regular student who I usually met at the cafe in my campus where I usually have my dinner nearly every night between 1994 to 1995. That was, what? 14 years ago? We never talked or anything the whole time we passed each other. But yesterday, when I passed him while I was going to take the food from the self-serve counter at the IKEA Cafe, I saw him and I smiled at him remembering him from those days. He smiled back although I saw that he hesitated a bit before doing it. He may have wondered who is this guy who suddenly smiled at him out of nowhere.

This is rare as I usually wouldn't have smiled to anyone unless I know that he or she would smile back. If you think I would ever use this as a pick-up line when I was still single, I would never have done it too. I will be too self-conscious to use it as an opening gambit. I would be too afraid that the other person would just say no then I wouldn't have known on how to follow-through. Even with men, I would just let it pass again, unless it would help me get some business in which I would do my utmost best to introduce myself and tell him of the time I was in the same universe as him or her and find some common ground. But I will still fumble with the name.

As I said, it can be a blessing or a curse....

A neighbourhood I don't want to change

I actually don't want my neighbourhood to ever be totally completed. There are still quite a few phases for the developer of our housing project to complete before they can sign off the development to the local authority. These phases keep on changing every other month from another terrace houses to a hospital then to a commercial area that we don't actually know what we finally will have as our neighbouring area. We also get the trickle of informations from new residents who join our neighbourhood gatherings and meetings about what the developer is planning to do, though we don't actually believe the developer anymore (another story for another post).

However, I believe this place that I call home with a few thousands other, including some natives who are relocated from their home to terrace houses and I gladly call my neighbour, I would be totally contented to keep on living with construction all over the area and not having it being that well known. My friends or relatives always have a torrid time of looking for my house or even the neighbourhood itself as the entrance to it's road is not that well lit.

My reason? By not being famous enough, even the criminals do not know there are houses at where we are located. There is very, very low crime rate within our area and there are also very little traffic. There is no unsightly youth hanging around at places they usually hangs around in other neighbourhood and we even have quite a close knitted families making the youth of our neighbourhood not easily influenced by other youth from outside.

So, I would love for my neighbourhood to stay as it is although I sometimes miss my morning paper as I am not willing to drive out of my area for my daily dose of news or I have to drive out just to get something to eat. I just hope that if they do fully develop this area, it will be in another 10 to 15 years when I myself may look for a bigger house, if ever.

Massage

I just came back from Indonesia last week, at a very famous town among Malaysian for it's 'half-original' products. As for me, shopping was one of the least of my concern as I was there to experience those that Indonesia is alternatively famous for. I have been to most of the big towns in Indonesia like Jakarta and Bali. In all those towns I will be looking for places which offer good massage. Even if I am in Malaysia, I would sometime ask for the Indonesian type of massage.

I was squirmish of massage once. I hate being touched and kneaded while being half naked by strangers. I was not that affluent when it comes to receiving massage as in how you should behave or where you should put that hands or if you have to make sure your bladder is empty to ensure uninterrupted treatment. That was until I was introduced to massage by a friend of mine who seems to enjoy doing it long before I know the bliss that accompany it. Now, I actually know how to enjoy it even more by ensuring the pressure hit the right nerve...

Nowadays, I am an avid fan of massage and my favourite type of massage comes from two of Malaysia neighbouring countries, which are Thailand and Indonesia. For Thailand, it's their foot massage that I love and for Indonesia, it's their full body massage. I was told, which I actually never experience, certain type of massage is so good, it could bring you to shoot of your.... how do I say this delicately, your seeds, without your manhood being touch (I know in certain part of the world, massage may be another lingo for those unmentionable line of work, this is totally different). That would really make that massage totally 'meaningful'...

Usually it starts off with some foot massage

Factory outlet

In Malaysia, some tourists do come here to find pirated stuff either in the form of DVDs, software programs and various other products which looks like, but not quite, the brands famous around the world. Do not say this to the government who actually close one eye on this lucrative trade and deny that it is a serious problem. They do try to eradicate this problem but as one article I read somewhere correctly pointed, the survival of these intellectual property infringer could be a good how-to manual in surviving the bad times. They keep on persevering although the arm of the law try to shuts their avenues.

Anyway, when I went to this one town in the island of Java, I now realised that our IP infringement business is just so very small in comparison with that town. They copied most of the luxury items ever sold in any part of the world from the well known brand such as Gucci to the exclusive one like Ted Hardy et al. They are so good that you will be hitting your head for buying the original as the price is just 30% of the real things. Workmanship? Check. Latest design? Check. Limited edition. Check.

I have always believe in supporting the real tradename by buying their goods at the boutiques they have all around Kuala Lumpur. I rarely even buy the one they sold in the department store though they are on sale. Then, I heard the explanation of the sales assistant in this small town in Indonesia. They were hired once to produce these products in factories all around town and when they found out these factories have quality control which made them chugged off those which did not pass their stringent test, they sold it in shops all over town. When the factories close, they produced it with the intention of selling these brands themselves. And people comes. Most from Indonesia itself but some do come from neighbouring countries. Guess what, Malaysians are some of their regular customer.

And I could say, at the end of the trip, I had to stop myself from going into any one of their factory outlets as I just seem to have one item each time I came out from it.

The outlets...