Thursday, February 19, 2009

Girl 'friend'

Can a man be friend with a woman or a girl? Usually, when you are still young, unlike me, this question will come up at least once as you grapple with the fact there are other ways for you to be nice to that girl in your class other than it being construed as making a pass at her. You might also be tempted later to try to ask her out on a date but if you have passed the 'friend zone' it was said that you rarely can go back. In the television series FRIENDS, this has become the recycle topics again and again the whole 10 season it was aired. Ross and Rachel, then Joey with Rachel, then Monica with Chandler, then Ross with Rachel again, then.... I lost the plot actually in the middle of it, although I love the jokes being bandied around by the series.

In my opinion, it is maturity that plays a part in whether you can or cannor befriend the other gender. As in my case, how can I not, I am just but one male partner in a legal firm full of women who are more than capable in certain area of the law than me. We divide our work accordingly and we have our own role to play when it comes to management. Why is this relevant to the question whether man and woman can becomes friend? I started out as university friends with my partner since 1992 and then we became closer when we opened up our firm. We supported each other during our early years as there was not much money to go around and we went through times of being single, dating other people (we never dated each other though) until now when we are happily married to our own choice of spouse.

It may have stemmed from the fact I have always able to befriend women as much as I can connect with men. Don't be fooled by this as I led a women-hating club (though we only hated a group of them from my batch) once in my early days of university like some children on playground. And my current business partner was one of the member of that particular group of girls which we hated. It was so childish as we thought then we were God gifts to humankind. However, during that time, I was the one who finally made peace with our 'enemy' and befriend a few of the girls in that group. Some became quite close to me as I even ask her to vet a few of my girlfriends when I started to date seriously in view of marriage.

As I said, as we grow old, friends come in many shape and gender. Some you connect through being in the same space as them. Some you met through these wonder of internet connection. Some was lover who later become friend. Some are just there for you when you need them. Just ensure all this girl'friend' that you have, let your other half know, unless you have ulterior motive, that is...


  1. hey, I was planning to write about this as well..becoz I had this conversation with my male friend who's wife has a problem of having her hubby .....having girl friends "-_-


    will try to get it out soon about these thoughts from both of us.. :D

    my answer to your earlier question will be, yes man and woman can be friends as long as both knows the genuine thought of each other...

  2. IMHO, male and female can't be best friend. But if the female doesn't looks good maybe can because men are animals that only hunt for pretty woman.

  3. I can, as long as the guy doesnt misunderstand =)

  4. yes it is possible but then some mutual feelings arise at times...

  5. Lisalicious : The problem is keeping that genuine thought

    hyperX : That business partner I told u about. She is considered a hot chick and she is just a friend to me. Priority I think is important

    phingy : Good for you

    Kujie : The idea is to conceal it if it EVER arise