Do not bribe men with sex

...before asking him to do something as it might mess up his head to do the job properly.

I know that there are a lot of women out there who loves to say to their partner/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend that they will reciprocate the favour which they got with sexual favour. It is not uncommon, wife/partner to say to their other half that if the husband can finish the chores assigned to him, maybe there will be more than the usual sexual act.

Some thinks that is the only way to get their husband to move their ass...

Remember Pavlov experiment with the dog? Bell, food and dog. Not a good idea.

The next time they do the job, they will expect it. Maybe more of it... ;)

Why must we say "Ah...." when drinking coffee

That is the question my wife always ask whenever she hear me say that word after drinking my coffee especially when I drink my first cup of coffee early in the morning.

It is considered as one of her pet peeves as she had complained to me about the way I drank my coffee ever since I was still courting her. I can't remember whether I changed (for a while) my way of drinking or not but when we became husband and wife, I still make that sound when I drink my coffee.

Maybe I really am enjoying that first cup of coffee when I drink it...

3 Open Houses in a row

One of the norms of Eid Mubarak in Malaysia is something rarely found in other countries which celebrate the same. It is what is termed as 'Open Houses'. Today, 27.09.09, is the first weekend after the Eid and 3 of my school friends had decided to hold their open houses on the same day. Two of them invited us through the modern equivalent of the Notice Board, Facebook, and one did it one technology lower by sending out a short messaging system (SMS) message. Two of them were actually inviting us to their parents' houses and one actually did it in his own home.

Maybe they did planned it together (or not) but the scheduling was just nice for those who wanted to come to manage to cover all three houses. One started at 11am until 3pm; another started at 12pm until 5pm; and the last one started at 2pm until 4pm. We started with the first one and arrived at the tail-end of the last one. In short, we managed to cover all houses.

As for food, the first houses served the Malaysian favourite of grilled lamb and many more as my friend is the son of a caterer. It gave them extra mileage in their business for their guests to be stuffed as people will remember them as the caterer which served great food during Eid. It was my first time to their annual event although I got invited to the same event last year.

As for the second and the last house, they served the normal fare but each has their own speciality. One served a rice concoction called Nasi Dagang and another had soto as their speciality. As much as having quite a lot of grilled lamb at the first house, I can't resist the two offerings. In short, the day ended with a very, very full stomach...

 

The grilled lamb which was the starter

The second house which served the nasi dagang

 

Traffic was clear but the heavy rain (which was a relief from the heat) delayed us a bit

The whole gang...(school buddies)

Traditional food

I love certain traditional food although some of them are too sweet for my taste. One of it is a concoction called Dodol. Last year, it became an obsession for my wife and I to look for this traditional offering at the houses we visited or the open houses we went to. We only found it at 1 house.

It was popular once but maybe due to the long time for it to be made (at least 5 to 8 hours) and it takes 2 men to constantly stir it up, it is rare for it to be found. And after spending that much time, it may not even be nice enough.

I managed to buy some for this Eid Mubarak thanks to a charity event I was invited to. Here is how it looks when it was still fresh :

and this is how it was made (this one has a machine to help them making it) :

Eid Mubarak pictures

What else do we do when all the family members are around, especially with my eldest brother going off to the United Kingdom following my sister-in-law who is furthering her study. We snapped pictures, we played around. There were 3 cameras. My second brother and I have a digital, push and play type of cameras. My sister-in-law bought a DSLR in Singapore last June. So, we are covered for a family portrait shoot.

Except for the people who are supposed to be in it. Some just don't like standing still.

Us

2nd brother n sis-in-law

Eldest bro and family

The whole family

The proper one

While those pictures happened, these were the making of...

If want to visit, just tell, we welcome you...

That was how my uncles and aunties extend their invite to visit their house. Especially during these times of Eid Mubarak. No appointments. No prior notice.

One of my wife's auntie put it rather crudely. "If we passed your house, we see you are inside, we will stop by and visit you. As easy as that. Relatives need not make appointment".

Actually, that is true. The dependant of people having this thing called Open Houses in which it is so popular in Malaysia that they made an event out of it for ALL religious celebration. There are Chinese New Year Open House, Christmas Open House, Deepavali Open House and two-in-one open houses like Deepa-Raya, CNY-Raya open house.

I want to make changes this year. I will invite my staff and partners over to my house on certain date but anyone who wants to visit my house this Eid Mubarak, which is one whole month of celebration (another Malaysian norms), they can just call or just stop by our house. We serve you whatever we are eating or have in the kitchen. The normal raya cookies are always ready. We have filled all the jars. We have ready all the cakes and such.

Come one. Come all. (just like Hard Rock Cafe)

We may or may not have some rendang for you

Eve of Eid Mubarak

Usually, on the eve of Eid Fitri, I will try to arrive at my parents' as early as possible so I can help them prepare for the big day. My parents live in Seremban, just 50 kilometer away from me in Shah Alam. Sometimes, it may be only my wife and I who arrive there but sometimes the house is full with my brothers and their families. My elder brother married somebody within my parent's housing estate so his family is always around. Not next year though as his family is going off to United Kingdom. My sister-in-law will be doing her Ph.D there.

So, this raya was kind of special as all will be home and celebrating it with gusto. Here are some pictures of the eve of Eid Mubarak at my parent's house :

Stopped for some lemang by the roadside near our house (not that good)

Mom was already cooking some rendang and nasi himpit

My brother's kids was making a mess of the house

Went to picked satay, my parent's house must-have at the local shop

As the news filtered in eid was the next dat (20th) we went to the surau there

The congregation then went from house to house for an event called Takbir

After some praises to Allah, we have food for them to eat

This year, the takbir lasted until one due to some heavy rain at 12am. We had to wait for it to died down before we can go to the final house. I was the unfortunate person who had to go to that house. All those who wanted their house visited must have a participant (the least) who must follow till the end. Slept at 2am that night.

Legend has it, when they didn't separate the groups as they did nowadays, the takbir even lasted after eid mubarak prayer (which is at 8.30am every year). Thank God for level heads which separate the big group into smaller groupings.

Eid Mubarak project

Malaysian favourite pastime is eating, unless they are goinbg to celebrate something. As a Muslim, within a year, trhe biggest day couldn't be any bigger than Eid Mubarak. In Malaysia, we celebrate our Eid for the whole month of Syawal. That is 30 days. After visiting families and relatives, which usually last for 1 week or less, there will be the corporate Eid celebration. As a lawyer, I will be going to so many of them. Before the holiday itself, which extend to 4 days, I already got invites to 4 of these corporate eid.

Anyway, whenever my household is nearing eid, we would be doing something to cheer up the house. This year, it was painting the dining room. I had this green colour as its colour since I moved to this house in 2005. I think the time has come for it to be in a new colour. We chose white as we think it is just the colour to make it look a bit lively. And the task of doing it fall on me. Here are the result (and the process) :

 

 

 

 

Those who has been to my house will notice the difference but for those who don't you are welcome to taste our raya food in our newly painted dining room. It took me nearly 3 weeks to finish it but only 5 days of work-days. Except for the first day, this project I can proudly claim to be done totally by me...

Being a good husband makes your wife boring with her friends

This is not an attempt trying to elevate my self-worth in any way. Hearing the exasperation in my wife's voice everytime she tells me this is enough reward for me.

She usually has girl's night outs with her girlfriends every now and then. As her office is also full of women and they are quite close with each other, the topics that they talk with each other are nearly the same. And one of their favourite topic is about their husbands (and children, but her contribution is our cats antics).

Which brings me to my wife being boring when it comes to this topic. The antic of their husband especially those whom usually do not pick up their discarded clothing, not washing dishes and not helping out. Which rarely happens in our house. She basically has no negative stories to contribute when in comes to that topic. She even comes to the conclusion that she should be thanking her mother-in-law for training her husband well in that department.

On the 2nd day of Eid Fitri

 

One activity during Eidul Fitri is to take pictures, if we can get the kids to stay still

Every year, on the second day of Eidul Fitri, after a full day of going to meet relatives on the first day of Edul Fitri and on the eve of it, coordinating the takbir program in which the people from each house within my parent's neighbourhood comes to every house while singing praises to Allah, we will be in our house contemplating what to do the whole day. As our house is not that far from my parent's (just 50 kilometers down south in Seremban) or my wife's parent's house, we always be back to our own house on the second day of Eidul Fitri.

As most people's hometown within our neighbourhood are farther or they like to take to take advantage of the holiday season to go somewhere, the neighbourhood will be very quiet. How we take advantage of the quietness is by sleeping in and then going to see a movie or sometimes, if we feel like it, we go and visit friends within our reach. 

Some may call me a spoilsport as I rarely participate in the holiday season by being festive but we have been doing this since we were married. 2 years ago, when my wife's grandmother was still alive, we do go outside the state for a night but with my wife's parents celebrating Eidul Fitri in Kuala Lumpur, we are going to be in town as fast as those who never went out of town at all.

Last year, we were so bored on the second day of Eid that all our cats were bathe on that day. This year, well, we actually have no idea what to do. Yet...

EID FITRI 09/1430 Hijrah

Just a short note.

Will be busy the whole day with prayers, visits and eating. Food, food and more food. Much like Christmas in other part of the world.

So, have a great EID FITRI. Wherever you are.

 

Some of the food that we will meet (and eat)

Have a safe journey home (and back)

Today is the final day of Ramadhan and tomorrow will be a grand celebration day for Muslims all over the world. We have fasted for 29 days and when we break fast today, that will be 30 days of fasting from dawn till dusk.

Eid Fitri is a celebration of our triumph in completing our fasting during Ramadhan. It is a 'must-do' celebration that we are disallowed from fasting.

And as today is the first day of a very long weekend, here in Malaysia (4 days), most will be driving off somewhere, either to be with families, visiting friends and maybe going on holiday. So, there will be a lot of cars on the road. A lot of it.

So, as accidents are prone to happen at these times, be extra careful, lower down your speed and remember your love ones. No matter how far the journey is, if you are tired, have a rest. No point in not reaching your destination.

So, again, HAVE A SAFE HOLIDAY. Anywhere you are.

 

Do not be another statistic

Men never mature

Heard one caller called a radio station the other day and as the topic was about women dating men younger than them, she exclaimed "Do not date younger men!". When asked why, she simply said "They are so immature". Then she said that she marries someone who is 3 years older than her.

I think she need a reality check. The radio announcers should have asked her whether that husband of hers is a real matured man or just as immature as any other men? Did he sulk if scolded or did he know where he stands in life? Does he pick up after he discarded his clothing? Does he helped around the house?

Just to make a point, most men don't do all this. And what does this falls under?

Yes, ladies. We never mature. We are all just big boys who have grown in size but we will always be boys, nonetheless. Whatever our age. 

Just check out that sulking old men whom you call your father.

Gay partner

With no malicious intent (which can always be construed whether I say this or not), I call any two guys or gals, who seem to be always together at events or whatever, when I refer to his or her other half, asking about the other person, I will always say "Hey man! Where is that gay partner of yours?".

Some will play ball and answer it good naturedly but some do take offense of this and protest vehemently that they are not gay and they are not a partner. I usually just smile back and ask back, "If you are not gay, and is comfortable with your sexuality, what is the problem? Will girls suddenly wouldn't like you when they heard me saying you have a gay partner.

As this is Malaysia and last I heard, there are still more heterosexual than homosexual (if what I know is correct) and I bet all women love to 'turn' any one of those handsome homosexual into a red blood heterosexual male. Especially in view of most men being too crude for their taste.

Hey, even I have a few 'gay partner' that my wife even mentioned that I always drive by a house of one of this guy I always hangs out with so that I might into him, just like a lover driving past his or her lover's house.

This note is more biased towards gay as in between men and men as women are more intimate with each other even with their best friend in contrast with men.

 

Gay partners of yesteryears

How far would you go to mend a broken heart

I was having my iftar meal at the Curve with the wife last week when I saw a familiar face, eating alone. I was a bit unsure whether it was the right person but when he passed my table, I said his name and when he turned, I knew that it was a client/friend whom I have not met for nearly 4 years. I sent him Eid Fitri card every year but it was always returned. I got my answer as to why that happened then.

He no longer owns the company which I dealt with 4 years ago. He has sold his share and he has actually moved to Vietnam. He is a through and through Malaysian and that prompted my wife and I to ask why did he do that? Moving to a country which has nothing to do with him. He is a Malay who was born in Brunei with a mix of Chinese blood.

The answer was easy enough as we touched a bit on his beautiful house in an expensive 'village' area just near the place I met him, called Kg. Sg. Penchala. I mentioned this to my wife while explaining to her who this man is. He smiled and then said, he is divorced from that wife and gave her the house with everything in it. Then it hit us, he is based in Vietnam (with a Briton as his wife) as he is nursing a broken heart and building a new life (he did affirmed this as the conversation progressed).

Just out of curiosity, as I realise Vietnam is not that far from Malaysia and is nowadays accessible, how far would one go to nurse a broken heart? Some just go on with their life, picking up the pieces in the same town. Some, like my friend, travel hundreds of mile, building a new career and even selling of everything (he has nothing in Malaysia anymore).

If it was you?

This is the real mobile broadband

Nowadays, when you subscribed to mobile broadband, you will receive a USB stick which you can put into your laptop or even desktop and get connected to the internet. However, you may sometimes reach places where there might not have connection. So, you have to move around. There is even a telecommunication company which offer these mobile broadband which enable you to create wifi within a certain radius. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you can create a broadband wifi area on the move anywhere you go. I thought this was not possible yet.

Then I meet this car :

 

  

That is one big USB stick on top of the taxi. Maybe the passengers can use the wifi it generates

What is wrong with this picture?

I have received a few emails and even seen it in a few blogpost. I always thought these pictures are all doctored pictures which used photoshop or all the other modern technology altering the real image. Then, I saw this cactus in front of my house naturally looking a bit like human's anatomy. Maybe nature do have a sense of humor...

 

  

What do you think? Coincidence?

Gamers are too nauseating to be enjoyed

I got another free tickets to watch a movie called Gamers on Wednesday thanks to Advertlets. I asked for it when they announced in their website they have free tickets to give and if one would want it, we only needed to send an email. I did and I clinched two tickets.

It was actually a great idea of a film. Real life gamers controlling their own people who will do their bidding (this can be seen in the trailer). If your avatar is dead, he or she is dead for real. The war scenarios were simulated and the greatest of them all was Gerard Butler (yes, I watched 2 of his movies back to back and I still think he is fat) who nearly won everything. All the avatars were convicted felons and if they won 30 rounds, they will be pardoned.

What Kable (Butler's character) wanted to do was to get back to his wife and daughter. Of course, it was not easy. With the help of his gamer and a few revolutionary cyber-fighter, he did. And that is the whole story.

Great story right?

Except that the cameras were too close to the characters and the movements might make you sick. It may even makes you want to leave the cinema (which is not good for a movie). Other than that, the scissor-happy censor board of Malaysia made the whole story a bit incomprehensible, which come to think of it I can't blame them as there were episodes which were too much even for a movie that violent. And even then I managed to see 2 or 3 scenes where a full breast and sexual acts were displayed.

As I said, great storyline, bad execution...

Movie reviews are to be read and not trusted

I have this one moment in my life where I always read reviews and then determine whether I like a movie or not. Without even watching the movie itself. I have faith with the movie reviewers then like all those devotees of cults. I just couldn't bring myself to watch a movie which was said to be bad or too dull or just didn't meet the reviewer approval.

Not anymore.

After a few years, I realised, you have to watch a movie and experience being in a cinema to experience the movie as a whole. Trailers and all those teasers that have all the crash, boom and bang, do not make a summer blockbuster as enjoyable as it should.

Cases in point. I think if I need to choose between Transformers 2 and G.I. Joe, I consider the latter to be better. The Ugly Truth for me was an enjoyable movie despite it is being considered to be a box-office bomb in the USA. Although I enjoyed Up!, I consider it good but not great (I love Toy Story better).

So, after all this while, I truly believe my own taste when it comes to movie. 

Next movie I just couldn't wait : G-Force.

The ugly truth is despite myself I love the Ugly Truth

By posting the above result on my blog a few days ago, I managed to catch the movie The Ugly Truth earlier than most people. It was all thanks to Adverlets. And despite the review that I have read about how the movie is considered as a box office failure by the media in USA, I consider it to be a very good romantic comedy (see, I even refrain myself from calling it a chick flick).

I have been reading film reviews either at home here in Malaysia or from internet websites originating from the United States and they have been giving the movie low ratings. The usual "nothing new" has been bandied around.

I begged to differ as after nearly a hundred years of film, how can there be something new in your normal love story unless you are talking about some Oscar driven love story movie based on some real event or a famous book. Even some classic books have been rehashed countless times. 

The movie of course borrowed from those movie called screwball comedies from the 40s and 50s where the main characters couldn't stand each other and their banters is what keep the film going. It has My Girl Friday premise as a television network served as the background. There was one borrowed scene from the movie When Harry Met Sally which is the 'climax' of that movie. My only complain is how the movie ends with all the loose end ties up, which is a normal way for a romantic comedy to end.

Everyone seemed to enjoyed The Ugly Truth and at certain scenes nearly everyone in the cinema laugh. What other movie can make most of the patrons in the cinema laugh on cue other than an Adam Sandler's or those Frat Pack's movies? Go watch it, bring your girlfriend/boyfriend and expect to enjoy yourself, in spite of the bad reviews.

Sexual bribe

All couple has been through this. One of them want something and asked it right after sex. Or in the middle of it. Some say, most women will do it at least once. In the throes of passion, while whispering sweet nothing, while the man is at the height of his passion.

Wham!

"Darling, do you think I can get that car you promised?", she said.

Huh!!???

Ever happened to you?

Lucky number

Today is 09.09.09.

Nice number and if Malaysian are to be like they always are, there will be many significant event happening today. Usually, these events will be nuptials between two person.

Though the Chinese may not all be that excited to do anything today as it is also the Hungry Ghost festival, and the Malay (who are mostly Muslims) are fasting due to Ramadhan, there are people who are planning big things today.

My wife and I was married on 8.8.03 and we celebrated our 5th year anniversary last year on 8.8.08.

Nice number, right? What is your lucky number?

My obsession with certain authors

 

If I start to love certain authors, I will add their books to my collection, including those which may have been published a long time ago. Koji Suzuki is a Japanese who writes horror which were made into films either in Japanese (The Ring) which was then remade by Hollywood (The Ring). The books are futuristic and were never translated well on-screen.

Some other authors are John Grisham whom I read whether he writes all those legal thrillers like The Summons or some of those Americana he wrote on a lark like Skipping Christmas and Bleachers.

Then of course, people like Terry Pratchett whom my wife and I just couldn't get enough of. It is a shame he is diagnosed with Alzheimer and hope he will still be able to churn at least a few more books.

Again, I just love good book, like so many of you out there...

Hardship in hospitality industry

Ever seen the movie Into the Blue where a group of girl surfers worked in hotels around Maui before making it big as surfers. Did you see what they have to go through day in and day out while being housekeepers in a hotel? Having to clean mess like puke (due to the guests being drunk the night before) and picking up condoms off the floor of the hotel rooms. Not really a dream job right?

If a few post ago, I talked about loving the fact of dropping everything and working in a resort, as much as I want to, I would be more thankful to be one of the lucky few who can afford to stay at a resort, every now and then. Maybe I am sometimes guilty on making life difficult for those who work in such resort but I do sometimes try to befriend them when I am ordering food or being served by them.

Maybe working 9-5 at an office is not a bad way to make a living after all...

Asking back the gifts you gave your partner

I have seen a lot of people breaking up and then do this ritual of asking back what they have given their partner as gift. If it is a divorce, it will be even worse. What you have seen in The Break-up is what most couple had experience or sometimes, worse. The list, the division and then the fight.

Ever been in this situation?

Where you have broken up and you wanted to teach the bastard/bitch a lesson and you asked back all the memorabilia or keepsake you have ever given him?

 

In my case, these may be a point of contention

Simple pleasure in life

 

Sometimes, the greatest pleasure in life is seeing stack of books on offer for sale. I can browse through all of these books whether I have seen them countless of time or was just my first time passing through where they are on sale.

If I am bored or the wife is out shopping, I can just go into a bookstore and browse through books. It can be fiction or non-fiction. Classic or brand new. New or second hand.

And this love for books is shared with my wife. Nowadays, she devoured books faster than me as I have become too engrossed with internet life. Maybe I need to be away to enjoy the pleasure of books again. The amount of unread books by my bedside table is getting higher and higher.

No technology can take the place of certain things like the pleasure of reading a book.

Frown less, smile more

I have this tendency to frown more than smile whenever I am at rest. I mean, when I am alone, the expression that I would have on my face will be me thinking about something although I may be alone at that time. I may be reading. Waiting. Talking on the phone. I will be wearing a frown.

Whenever I notice I am frowning, I sometimes try to change my expression. I will try to smile or do a smile exercise as in making a smile with my mouth, regardless of what I feel inside. 

People say, the muscle to make a smile is less complicated than to make a frown. 

And a smile actually is a less stressful exercise than making a frown. At least, I can perfected my smile. And what was that expression?

Smile and the world smile with you?

The problem with being just the two of us

As we love to plan things together everyday, when one of us has another plan, the other one has to make plans of his or her own. None of us really mind if the plan has been told days or weeks in advance but if the plan is spontaneous or done in haste, it can leave the other on a lurch of what to do.

Nowadays, with us having a laptop each and a PC at home, with our growing online presence, this has become a fall-back plan. We do whatever we love to do with the PC and we get in touch with all the friends through Facebook, Twitter and blogs.

In short, in this internet age, it is hard to feel alone. For the past few months, we have been welcomed to so many meet-ups and events that we have gained a lot of new friends with like-minded interest. It has been interesting and has widen our circle of friends. Hope there are many more for us to meet and discover...

Does coffee still affect me?

It does sometimes. At other times, it doesn't...

I remember drinking too much of it and my hands start shaking. I seem to love drinking coffee that in my office, most of the staff will know how I like my coffee. It is one of the easiest way to make a drink.

Ever.

You have your coffee. Either the instant one (Nescafe) or Hai Peng coffee (come in a satchet) or the blended  one from Starbucks. The you just add water. 

That is it.

No sugar. No milk. No nothing. To me, that is how coffee is supposed to be enjoyed. I even have my business partner, a lady, drinking her coffee the same way after all this year (I even influenced her to drink warm water with all her meal). And we surprised people when they ask us how we like our coffee and we replied it as such.

This Ramadhan, without coffee, when morning comes, I tend to be a bit hazy. Just so that I won't be too incoherent, my last drink before the fasting session comes sometime is coffee. But, I do know that coffee dehydrates more than any other drink, so I do the next best thing to not be so sleepy during the day.

Sleep early...

The Ugly Truth about men and women

Yep, you have guessed it. This is about that movie starring Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler. In which they proved the real facts about men and women. Butler as another Cyrano (as in de Begerac) and Heigl as the one who follows the instruction of a man she hates that she was willing to do what he asked as long as he get lost if she managed to get her man using his help.

Then they fell in love...

As always.

However, if you go to this site by Adverlets, Malaysia's internet advertising company, you can win tickets to go to the premiere screening of the movie. Take the test to determine whether you are really a man or a woman. The link is here - The Ugly Truth Quiz.

I took it and here is my result :

In short, it is a confirmed thing that I am a dude when it comes to dating. I think some of those whom I tried to date will even say I am a playerz but I will deny that.