Do not bribe men with sex

...before asking him to do something as it might mess up his head to do the job properly.

I know that there are a lot of women out there who loves to say to their partner/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend that they will reciprocate the favour which they got with sexual favour. It is not uncommon, wife/partner to say to their other half that if the husband can finish the chores assigned to him, maybe there will be more than the usual sexual act.

Some thinks that is the only way to get their husband to move their ass...

Remember Pavlov experiment with the dog? Bell, food and dog. Not a good idea.

The next time they do the job, they will expect it. Maybe more of it... ;)

Why must we say "Ah...." when drinking coffee

That is the question my wife always ask whenever she hear me say that word after drinking my coffee especially when I drink my first cup of coffee early in the morning.

It is considered as one of her pet peeves as she had complained to me about the way I drank my coffee ever since I was still courting her. I can't remember whether I changed (for a while) my way of drinking or not but when we became husband and wife, I still make that sound when I drink my coffee.

Maybe I really am enjoying that first cup of coffee when I drink it...

3 Open Houses in a row

One of the norms of Eid Mubarak in Malaysia is something rarely found in other countries which celebrate the same. It is what is termed as 'Open Houses'. Today, 27.09.09, is the first weekend after the Eid and 3 of my school friends had decided to hold their open houses on the same day. Two of them invited us through the modern equivalent of the Notice Board, Facebook, and one did it one technology lower by sending out a short messaging system (SMS) message. Two of them were actually inviting us to their parents' houses and one actually did it in his own home.

Maybe they did planned it together (or not) but the scheduling was just nice for those who wanted to come to manage to cover all three houses. One started at 11am until 3pm; another started at 12pm until 5pm; and the last one started at 2pm until 4pm. We started with the first one and arrived at the tail-end of the last one. In short, we managed to cover all houses.

As for food, the first houses served the Malaysian favourite of grilled lamb and many more as my friend is the son of a caterer. It gave them extra mileage in their business for their guests to be stuffed as people will remember them as the caterer which served great food during Eid. It was my first time to their annual event although I got invited to the same event last year.

As for the second and the last house, they served the normal fare but each has their own speciality. One served a rice concoction called Nasi Dagang and another had soto as their speciality. As much as having quite a lot of grilled lamb at the first house, I can't resist the two offerings. In short, the day ended with a very, very full stomach...

 

The grilled lamb which was the starter

The second house which served the nasi dagang

 

Traffic was clear but the heavy rain (which was a relief from the heat) delayed us a bit

The whole gang...(school buddies)

Traditional food

I love certain traditional food although some of them are too sweet for my taste. One of it is a concoction called Dodol. Last year, it became an obsession for my wife and I to look for this traditional offering at the houses we visited or the open houses we went to. We only found it at 1 house.

It was popular once but maybe due to the long time for it to be made (at least 5 to 8 hours) and it takes 2 men to constantly stir it up, it is rare for it to be found. And after spending that much time, it may not even be nice enough.

I managed to buy some for this Eid Mubarak thanks to a charity event I was invited to. Here is how it looks when it was still fresh :

and this is how it was made (this one has a machine to help them making it) :

Eid Mubarak pictures

What else do we do when all the family members are around, especially with my eldest brother going off to the United Kingdom following my sister-in-law who is furthering her study. We snapped pictures, we played around. There were 3 cameras. My second brother and I have a digital, push and play type of cameras. My sister-in-law bought a DSLR in Singapore last June. So, we are covered for a family portrait shoot.

Except for the people who are supposed to be in it. Some just don't like standing still.

Us

2nd brother n sis-in-law

Eldest bro and family

The whole family

The proper one

While those pictures happened, these were the making of...

If want to visit, just tell, we welcome you...

That was how my uncles and aunties extend their invite to visit their house. Especially during these times of Eid Mubarak. No appointments. No prior notice.

One of my wife's auntie put it rather crudely. "If we passed your house, we see you are inside, we will stop by and visit you. As easy as that. Relatives need not make appointment".

Actually, that is true. The dependant of people having this thing called Open Houses in which it is so popular in Malaysia that they made an event out of it for ALL religious celebration. There are Chinese New Year Open House, Christmas Open House, Deepavali Open House and two-in-one open houses like Deepa-Raya, CNY-Raya open house.

I want to make changes this year. I will invite my staff and partners over to my house on certain date but anyone who wants to visit my house this Eid Mubarak, which is one whole month of celebration (another Malaysian norms), they can just call or just stop by our house. We serve you whatever we are eating or have in the kitchen. The normal raya cookies are always ready. We have filled all the jars. We have ready all the cakes and such.

Come one. Come all. (just like Hard Rock Cafe)

We may or may not have some rendang for you

Eve of Eid Mubarak

Usually, on the eve of Eid Fitri, I will try to arrive at my parents' as early as possible so I can help them prepare for the big day. My parents live in Seremban, just 50 kilometer away from me in Shah Alam. Sometimes, it may be only my wife and I who arrive there but sometimes the house is full with my brothers and their families. My elder brother married somebody within my parent's housing estate so his family is always around. Not next year though as his family is going off to United Kingdom. My sister-in-law will be doing her Ph.D there.

So, this raya was kind of special as all will be home and celebrating it with gusto. Here are some pictures of the eve of Eid Mubarak at my parent's house :

Stopped for some lemang by the roadside near our house (not that good)

Mom was already cooking some rendang and nasi himpit

My brother's kids was making a mess of the house

Went to picked satay, my parent's house must-have at the local shop

As the news filtered in eid was the next dat (20th) we went to the surau there

The congregation then went from house to house for an event called Takbir

After some praises to Allah, we have food for them to eat

This year, the takbir lasted until one due to some heavy rain at 12am. We had to wait for it to died down before we can go to the final house. I was the unfortunate person who had to go to that house. All those who wanted their house visited must have a participant (the least) who must follow till the end. Slept at 2am that night.

Legend has it, when they didn't separate the groups as they did nowadays, the takbir even lasted after eid mubarak prayer (which is at 8.30am every year). Thank God for level heads which separate the big group into smaller groupings.

Eid Mubarak project

Malaysian favourite pastime is eating, unless they are goinbg to celebrate something. As a Muslim, within a year, trhe biggest day couldn't be any bigger than Eid Mubarak. In Malaysia, we celebrate our Eid for the whole month of Syawal. That is 30 days. After visiting families and relatives, which usually last for 1 week or less, there will be the corporate Eid celebration. As a lawyer, I will be going to so many of them. Before the holiday itself, which extend to 4 days, I already got invites to 4 of these corporate eid.

Anyway, whenever my household is nearing eid, we would be doing something to cheer up the house. This year, it was painting the dining room. I had this green colour as its colour since I moved to this house in 2005. I think the time has come for it to be in a new colour. We chose white as we think it is just the colour to make it look a bit lively. And the task of doing it fall on me. Here are the result (and the process) :

 

 

 

 

Those who has been to my house will notice the difference but for those who don't you are welcome to taste our raya food in our newly painted dining room. It took me nearly 3 weeks to finish it but only 5 days of work-days. Except for the first day, this project I can proudly claim to be done totally by me...

Being a good husband makes your wife boring with her friends

This is not an attempt trying to elevate my self-worth in any way. Hearing the exasperation in my wife's voice everytime she tells me this is enough reward for me.

She usually has girl's night outs with her girlfriends every now and then. As her office is also full of women and they are quite close with each other, the topics that they talk with each other are nearly the same. And one of their favourite topic is about their husbands (and children, but her contribution is our cats antics).

Which brings me to my wife being boring when it comes to this topic. The antic of their husband especially those whom usually do not pick up their discarded clothing, not washing dishes and not helping out. Which rarely happens in our house. She basically has no negative stories to contribute when in comes to that topic. She even comes to the conclusion that she should be thanking her mother-in-law for training her husband well in that department.

On the 2nd day of Eid Fitri

 

One activity during Eidul Fitri is to take pictures, if we can get the kids to stay still

Every year, on the second day of Eidul Fitri, after a full day of going to meet relatives on the first day of Edul Fitri and on the eve of it, coordinating the takbir program in which the people from each house within my parent's neighbourhood comes to every house while singing praises to Allah, we will be in our house contemplating what to do the whole day. As our house is not that far from my parent's (just 50 kilometers down south in Seremban) or my wife's parent's house, we always be back to our own house on the second day of Eidul Fitri.

As most people's hometown within our neighbourhood are farther or they like to take to take advantage of the holiday season to go somewhere, the neighbourhood will be very quiet. How we take advantage of the quietness is by sleeping in and then going to see a movie or sometimes, if we feel like it, we go and visit friends within our reach. 

Some may call me a spoilsport as I rarely participate in the holiday season by being festive but we have been doing this since we were married. 2 years ago, when my wife's grandmother was still alive, we do go outside the state for a night but with my wife's parents celebrating Eidul Fitri in Kuala Lumpur, we are going to be in town as fast as those who never went out of town at all.

Last year, we were so bored on the second day of Eid that all our cats were bathe on that day. This year, well, we actually have no idea what to do. Yet...