Lavish wedding v simple wedding

This week seen me attending two types of weddings at different venue and in different spectrum of society. One was held at hotels around Kuala Lumpur with lavish spread and high profile attendees. The other one was at a low cost flat at the suburb of Kuala Lumpur. One was by a person whom I got to know through a friendin which my attendance was more out of curiosity than anything else and the other one was my sister-in-law's which was a must for any relative to attend.

As my wife's family was from a 'kampung' in the middle of Kuala Lumpur relocated to low cost flat quite near its original location, the wedding was done like how a normal kampung would throw a wedding. This is where the difference lies in Malaysia between the haves and the haves-not. The rich hire people to do their work and their party for them. The haves-not invite all their friends and families from their 'real kampung' in Perak and Kelantan. The haves invite 'important people' who will shape their business later after the wedding. The haves-not just invited people from all walk of life, even their neighbours a bit further away.

This is where the money goes most in a small wedding

On the wedding day of my sister-in-law, the whole flat was involved in the cooking, the helping out, the ushering of guests, the taking apart of all the table and the putting back of everything in their places. Everthing was done on that one day which would be wrapped up with a karaoke session which was expected from the host. My wife told me there was 'joget lambak' or open disco in the old day but they don't do it anymore. That was how a small simple wedding being held in Malaysia

... and this is where the money goes most in a lavish wedding.

As for a lavish wedding, how about 7 days and 7 nights of food and drinks at various venues where 6 of it were at hotels around town and at each hotel a minimum of RM1 Million was spent. The final day was held at the groom house and I can only imagine what they spend there. As I went to two nights of the wedding out of the 7 that were held at two different hotels, I saw that the guests were nearly the same. Hmmm... I thought the point of a wedding is to announce the change of status of the person getting married...

I still think that how ever simple or lavish a wedding is, what is important what happens after. Wether the marriage is a success or not. Hope of a happy life to the both couples...

D.I.N.K.

I read this term somewhere once. I think it was the now-defunct Asiaweek but I am not sure. It was about the term they give certain couples according to their income and liabilities.

Double Income, No Kids. Or D.I.N.K. As oppose to Double Income With Kids. Or Single Income With Kids. Or Single Income No Kids. Actually the one I really remember is the the first category.

That of my wife and I.

We have been in that bracket for 5 years plus now. We have our routine and we have our economic situation assessed and reassessed a few times every year when we thing we need a new investment scheme or if the economy took turn for the better or for the worse. We try to cut our spending when the credit cards seem unmanageable or increase our spending according to the festive season. We have travelled to a few countries and planning to travel more in the near and distant future.

In one of our trips...

We would buy or change our car if the economy permits and if a new model take our fancy or if my wife is fed-up having to manage a car which is too big for her. We took personal loan, paid it off and took some more. We bought houses, sell one, retain one and intend to upgrade the house which we live in into a mansion or maybe just a bungalow or even maybe just a condominium agreeable to us. We may just refinance it and renovate it as per our liking.

We invested in unit trust, the ever favourite Amanah Saham Bumiputra, Tabung Haji, shares, fixed deposit and all the conservative to a little risky venture which may give us a bit of a return every year. We have part-time jobs and side income to help us cope with our loan repayment. We have our egg nest which may or may not last until our retirement. We presevere to ensure we can survive in a comfortable situation.

We planned all this without thinking of any changes in our plan except if Allah suddenly has planned for us to change the category from DINK to DIWK or any other plans that He has for us. After all, we can only plan and He will determine our demise...

Walking together

I have always been guilty of not following the rules of courtship when I was dating my wife. After we decided we were the perfect match and there was no doubt in our mind that we were going to get married, I treated her just like a wife that she was going to be.

One of the treatment that she received was when I always left her behind when we were walking around town. It was just that I love to walk fast. As I knew how to be tactful and just to made her felt appreciated, I said to her - "As a Malay man, I am bound to treat you like this eventually. At least if not immediately, when we are old...", it made her smile, which does not necessarily mean that she agrees with me.

Do keep up with me dear...

After we got married, I became even worse as I asked her to walk all over the places that we visited, either in Amsterdam, Paris, Bali and good ole KL. We walked if we wanted to go for shopping. We walked if our hotel was 200 metres away from the beach or 500 metres at the end of the beach. We walked under a hot sun or we walked in the cold European climate. We walk and we walk. How my wife hates me for this...

I do it as I have a girth which I would like to not have and I sometimes understand that it is not easy to walk in high heels. I do sometimes give way and let her off at the entrance of a mall or the place where we can meet then I trudged alone to her. It is rare especially where taking a taxi is expensive.

I do sometimes did a double take when I realised I was walking to fast and she was trying to catch up with me when we are in a mall or around town. Sometimes, even when I am holding her hand, she has to run to keep up.

Its just that I love walking fast. It is still a bad habit which I can't shake off. Maybe it will stop when I grow older.

We'll see...

Old flames

Do you ever introduced your old flame to your spouse? As for someone like me who got to know my spouse through one of my other girlfriend, it was never a problem.

It has been a staple for me even before I was married. When I was in the university, I got to know this one girl through the internet and after I dated her twice I brought this 2 girl friends of mine to her house to assess her and she was so offended, not because of the assessment but because she thought its weird for me to bring 2 girls to her house. For me it was simple. She needs to know who I always hang out with before we embark on a serious relationship.

Now my wife had met the first crush I had in school who I had a love/hate relationship with, who married one of my male school friend after I gave him her phone number. My wife had met this one girl I knew in university who I courted right before I got to know my wife. My wife had even met this one GRO whom I had gone out with a long time ago. These are just a few of the old flames that I have introduced my wife to.

One of my current flame which my wife is ok with...

Most because I still keep in touch with them such as the university girl is a manager at the legal division of a government development company which appoint my firm as their panel. Some are long gone like the GRO.

The point I am trying to make is the need to bury the hatchet and let bygone be bygone especially if you want to have closure in your history. I am a big believer in what is past is past and tomorrow is another day...

Lingerie...

Malaysia seems to be swamped with lingerie shops at malls nowadays. There are La Senza, Xixili and the everlasting Triumph, among others. Although there is still no Victoria Secrets or Agent Provocateur shop in sight, you can get these brands at selected shops or departmental store. Some are marketed to the masses for all those women who need their basic undies and some are marketed for those who have a naughty side to themselves.

Why am I such an expert in lingerie? It is actually an important arsenal for those who have been married for sometimes...

This is an important component too to good sex

Just imagine the need to spice thing up a bit in the bedroom. With a bit of extra clothing, which is not extra at all, come to think of it, you can liven up the most mundane routine sex (is there such a thing?), especially for those who already have kids and whatnot which will take up even the air that you breath. You need a bit of a starter before you can get to the main course.

In a country as conservative as ours, we still rarely see couples go into a lingerie shop and the men standing around while waiting for the women trying it out and asking the men to see whether they would like what they see. Some are brave enough to do this but still avert their eyes when they met other women in the shop. The best description of their look will be 'sheepish' meaning that they are actually embarrassed to be there but they were not given a choice. It is the same when sometimes the husband or the boyfriend had to shop for some sanitary napkins at the local store for their partner (it won't be too embarassing if it was at the hypermarket).

Anyway, lingerie is as important as a tool but not the most important thing in a couple's life. A healthy libido and understanding between the couple is as important, among others and of course, the four letter word - L.O.V.E.

My wife's overactive imagination

I did post once on the easeness of my wife crying. You can read it here http://howmanthink.blogspot.com/2008/11/crying.html.

There is another attitude of my wife's which took some time for me to get to use to. It was her overactive imaginations. According to her mind, I am already in nearly 5 to 6 affairs when I started blogging actively and before that I have had affairs with the students that I taught in a local university and various other affairs because of various reasons. It seems that my libido is so great that I can maintain a few mistresses at any one time.

How about when I get a whack from her for something that an actor did on screen or when she knew a friend of mine is having an affair? She knew since the day we were courting that I love to surprise her. I told her earlier in the relationship, never to expect anything when she expect something but be ready to be surprised at the time she wouldn't expect anything...

Me, being surrounded by other women...

I once did try to slip beside her when she was sleeping in the afternoon trying to be romantic but I gave her quite a start coupled with a shout which was nearly a scream that I gave up doing it after a few times. She thought I was a thief who had slipped into the house.

As for the affair, I can hear the edge in her voice when she ask me who a new girl or woman I just got to know was. The early years when I partnered with my university friends who rarely wear other than some corporate suits or blouses which left nothing to one's imagination, her jealousy and suspicions could be seen. Then they became friends, and I heaved a sigh of relief...

I am currently introducing her, little by little, to a few of my ghost of christmas past, due to necessity and there were various reactions from her. Some, she thought were beneath her and some she confessed to be way out of her league. I always keep reminding her that I have chosen her and the other girls were my past. Water under the bridge. Most of them are happily married, with children. What she imagined when I was courting them, I leave that to her imaginations.

If there's a sudden whack out of nowhere, I know her imagination just caught up with her mind...

The good thing about AMBP screening of Madagascar 2

I reached a milestone again in my short life as a blogger on 10.11.08. I won.a contest by the Star Online All Malaysian Blogger Project website which require you to write a slogan which I totally forgot exactly after I have written it. Lo and behold, on 6.11.08, the day that the contest closed, I received an email telling me I won myself either 2 or 4 tickets to the movie Madagascar 2 shown at Cathay Cineplex Damansara. I was preplexed as I was not sure whether I won 2 or 4 tickets and where is Cathay Cineplex Damansara. Is it Cineleisure or the one in One Utama. Although I frequent Cineleisure a lot, I was not sure whether it was a Cathay cinema or a TGV or a GSC.

From AMBP website

I called the number stated in the email and found out that I won just 2 tickets which the guy on the line advice me to come and choose the seats as they were allowing those who won to choose their seat according to their preference. As I was quite busy, I only managed to go to the Star Tower on the day of the show itself which was at 11am on 10.11.08. I though there was counter or a queue at least but discovered it was done by going to the 7th floor, went into their office and at the guy's cubicle, I just choose my seats. I forgot to ask him which cinema it was but a stroke of genius made me look at the Star newspaper and discovered that there was only one Cathay cinema which is in Cineleisure in Damansara.

This win was just at the back of another win the week before when I got to watch for free the new James Bond. Read it here http://howmanthink.blogspot.com/2008/11/ogling-olga-in-quantum-of-salaciousness.html.

The movie Madagascar really made me think feel that I am growing old as I couldn't enjoy the movie as much as I used to enjoy Disney cartoons of yore. In my head I keep on thinking the movie was too childish and too simple. There was no plot twist and most character falls under the description of 'cute'. From Alex the Lion to his 3 buddies to King Julien to the penguins. All those from Madagascar are back and then some...

The really good thing I could say about this movie was the lack of kids in the cinema as most bloggers who got the tickets brought themselves and the other good thing is the new movie trailer that was shown for the coming summer 2009 attraction. If during the free screening of Quantum of Solace we were previewed the trailer of Terminator 4, this time we were given a glimpse of Monsters v. Aliens (or is the title supposed to be the other way around). It seems these advance screening were places for you to see upcoming trailers...only that the Malaysian moviegoers are still not that excited of movie trailers as their USA counterparts.

Whatever it is, I am only waiting to see the 'Watchmen' above all the other movies in 2009. That will be the Batman of 2008 which may even be a flop...

What's wrong with the song "If I was a boy..."

Lyrics

You do know that this song is a very unfair representation of my gender, right?


Beyonce took it from a rock song and turn it into her own version of a women begging her 'boy' to understand her and saying how she would have handled the situation the couple is facing, unlike how the boy is handling.

She said she would not turn off her phone making the person calling thinks she was alone.

She would know how to love a girl and be a better man...

She would listen properly to her cause she know how it feels to be taken for granted...

She would turn off her phone so people would think she was sleeping alone...

She would do all this to make the girl she is courting feels wanted, appreciated, feeling loved, know every wishes and her dreams and then some. This was all that Beyonce promised she would do, if she was a boy...

The problem with this lyrics, is...

This job that she called for is suited for a MAN, not a boy... unless she wants cute to be the boy...

p/s - when I hear thje song again last night, at the end of it that was what Beyonce ask, for the boy to be a man...

"Love Like You Will Never Get Hurt"

        Love        

     Like You    
       Will         

   Never Get     

        Hurt         

Those words are on a fridge magnet on my fridge. There are just those words written in black and on a gold background. Nothing else.

I bought it when I was on a trip to Freemantle, Australia, without my wife. I know she would either love it or hate it as the words may be true but its implication, if the second part of the sentence ever happen, it is something that she hates to think about.

Would you give yourself to love like this?

I was always amazed during my university years when I saw couple who can hang on nearly 5 to 6 years before they got married as they want to finish their study first before they need to confront their parents that they were a couple and wanted to get married. Some were just waiting and one couple I know broke off 3 months after graduation as the guy was delaying the marriage as they had been together for 6 years.

I would love to think that I did the same thing but not as early as some and I would say that there are no regrets on my part when I did it when I got married.

Still do...

And I got the fridge magnet to remind me of it

Take a Bow

I did blog once on the issue of a man who cheated and was caught by the wife when she saw his phone messages to his mistress. I did make a remark that he was not stupid because he cheated but he was stupid because he was caught.

It seems that my idea is not that original as there was the Rihanna song, Take A Bow, in which she said :

"And don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not,
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught"

Maybe its the anthem of cheating men or discrimination by women of men or profiling of men by women that we, men, are all labelled as cold-hearted especially if we cheat. There is also a saying "Women need a reason to cheat but men just cheat because they can".

Is it the man to be blame when men cheat? How about women? They cheat too. Is it ok if they do it due to not enough attention given by their partner or do they just do it for the sake of cheating. I do believe in this regard in this day and age, the playing field is level and men or women play the cheating game with the same reason. The difference may be the tools that are use to snag the 'prize'?