Bizarre divorce story

This is about a lawyer friend that I knew who had to go through a harrowing experience of finding out that his love was not real love. He married the girl and then found out that she did not really love him. They got married in a ceremony to rival any one-day kind and queen (a saying here in Malaysia) and then when the time came for them consummate the marriage, he was given a kick right at his crown jewel and nearly passed out from it before he decided to sleep on the floor. And all this happened right in a room in his in-laws. And yes, he was a virgin when it happened. The girl? I am not sure.

I was a divorce lawyer once. I have heard and read quite a few amazing reasons why a couple wanted to get a divorce but other than the one where the girl did not allow her husband to touch her at all as she was so afraid of sex, what happened to my friend really takes the cake.

And they have been going out for nearly 5 years as she was a students and he was waiting for her to finish her study. She did and it seemed that 5 years were too long. She actually had another boyfriend, who was rightly her age, unlike my friend who was 6 years her senior and I am not sure whether the fact that they really wait for their wedding night to consummate their relationship played a part.

They were divorced within 2 months and that was that. He married another after 3 years (it took sometimes for him to trust another woman) and I think the girl also had found her real love (which was not the guy she divorced my friend for).

Life, right?

Sex for your own satisfaction

This is for the women.

When you have sex, think about yourself and as much as you want your partner/spouse to get off, try to enjoy yourself. I have this theory, on why women rarely get off or do gets it butis far and in between. I mean, how many articles have been written about women do not experience the big 'O' when they have sex.

I think, being women, a supposedly emotional creature, they are more concern about their partner being satisfied more than they themselves being satisfied. I mean, women love to please and be pleased emotionally when they manage to do that. 

So, they rather not have the whole reason people have sex, especially for men, who will only be satisfied when they have reached that the women rarely achieved. 

That is why my advice is for the women, if not always, once in a while, let go and take control until YOU are the one who has had enough. It is even good for your mental health... (and then some)

A marriage proposal which nearly became a disaster

I dated my wife between 2000 and 2002 before I popped the question whether she wanted to marry me or not. Atcually we never had a proper proposal situation in which I (or she) bent down on my (or her) knee and ask her (or my) hand in marriage. It was more like a mutual agreement between us that we have dated long enough and has been exclusive long enough (which is a different matter altogether) that we decided it was better that we tie the knot. By 2002, it was a settled thing as when I went to England, I even shopped somewhere in one of their factory outlets (yes, I am that cheap) for our wedding gifts which Malaysian exchange with each other during the ceremony.

So, it was settled that we will not be having to go through that embarrasing and risky business (for the proposer) of proposing and expecting and answer. That is while the proposee had to look surprise and having to quickly decides whether she (or he) really wants to marry the proposer. Simple but maddeningly complicated, right? That is the perils of love.

In my case, as one who loves to spring surprises, I decided to do it although the matter is settled. I did it through a morning radio show in which I have a friend who was one of its deejay. He called me up and called her up and then I talked to her and I was supposed to propose. Before I was patched through to her, the deejays (there were 3 of them) and I sparred a little in which they asked me all sort of embarrassing things like why I like her etc. I was actually nervous and nearly talked nonsense to the benefit of nearly half of the nation (the radio station is government owned and broadcast everywhere and there were not that many stations unlike now then). I managed to get them to call her and then I nearly talked nonsense again before managing to do it properly. 

She laughed at first but then gets into the joke when I told her that I was actually proposing to her there and then through the phone on public broadcast and seriously need an answer from her.

Luckily, she did say the right thing (which was Yes! of course)

Don't Wanna Be Starting Something

Yep, another post using a song by Michael Jackson, though a bit different. The title of his song was Wanna Be Starting Something and it has something to do with his love for this girl who has an addiction (I think, his lyrics are always obscure and they still have not figure out what Bad really means). Actually this post is also about addiction. And again, it is inspired by my wife. Of course, nearly half of this blog has something to do with her. It really give a new meaning to the word "my other half".

I told her years ago when we started to know each other (I think if I can recollect, it was on one of our first dates) that I don't smoke and I don't drink alcohol. I also don't do recreational drugs. All these I managed to resist although I lived with people who did either one or all of the above. It was amazing, even for me, as I had been housemates and even roommates to people who has this addiction. I mean, they were merciless in trying to get me to join the darkside. As in really try. They even spiked my drink once. 

After all these abuses, I still never took up any the habits. Maybe smoking managed to come into my life for awhile when I picked up smoking cigars. I managed to stop as my rich clients don't smoke it anymore and I myself don't have anyone to smoke it with. My wife did mentioned she loved kissing me after I smoked cigars and that made me stuck with it for sometimes. But I think the last cigar I smoked was 6 months ago after it languished in my car for nearly 6 months before that.

However, for the past 9 months, I have failed. I mentioned this at a recent event that I moderated called eLawyers-Exabytes Blogging and Law Forum 2009, which you can read the posting here. I have a new addiction which I just cannot stop. The wife mentioned this a few nights ago and she even brought up about my "Don't wanna be starting something" mantra. 

What is the addiction? Why you are witnessing it yourself. It is of course,

BLOGGING!

in which I am not gonna stop anytime soon.

Do you remember the time?

I had the title written down for this post in November last year when I wanted to tell my wife about how we fell in love with each other. You do know that this is also the title for a Michael Jackson song which have Iman (David Bowie's wife), the basketball player Magic Johnson and Eddie Murphy. It was the early days of CGI and it was spectacular like most Michael Jackson's music movie videos. The sands that they used in that movie was amazing as they shifted and became people then swirl around as MJ dance.

I decided to write this post now as the death of MJ has brought me back to it and I talked to my wife about how we fell for each other. She told me, I told her once that it was due to her finishing her food unlike most of my other dates who always asked me to finish their food for them. It was true as I had problems with all this dates who tried so hard in maintaining their weight though some of them were already at their ideal weight (in my eyes). If we were having expensive dinner, they will still do it as if what I spent was just to get their heart (that is for men ladies!).

 

Food is never wasted when it comes near me

She actually told me the other day that is one of the story she tell her girl friends when they meet up as she finds it amusing. She also thought that food shouldn't be wasted especially good ones and expensive. I actually think that it was sweet of her as I did told her this and she still remembers it. I do remember quite a few things that we did together, either romantic things or just simple things which stuck to your mind although it was not intended to be so significant. 

I bet MJ was conveying that when he sang that song.

My guilty pleasure : The Sweetest Thing

I have this film which I cannot resist to sit down and enjoy, everytime it is shown on the television. I mean, if I suddenly found it while I channel-surf, I will at least enjoy a few minutes of it or if I know there are nothing else to watch, I will be watching it thoroughly.

The film : The Sweetest Thing, which had starred Christina Applegate, Selma Blair and the affable Cameron Diaz acting in it.

The story : About 3 single girls, where most of the film is on the characters played by Applegate and Diaz living the single party girls life in a big city until one day Diaz met a guy played by Thomas Jane. He split before she could connect with her and they went on a road trip to get the guy before finding out they arrived in the small town where the guy lives that the guy is going to get married. As they turned the marriage ceremony topsy turvy, Diaz decided to abandon her mission and goes back. That is until the guy came looking for her. 

A simple story but the frankness of how girls sometimes do things that you wouldn't see in public. Sending the dress which had questionable stains (in this case, it was sperm) to laundry. Wearing goofy type of underwears. Drinking until they get sick. Experimental sexual experience. All these and then some. The main story was just so and so, but the ancillary storylines were interesting in themselves. Selma Blair was supposed to have the small part but her scenes which really are scene stealers. What Applegate and Diaz discovered when they came back from looking for the guy was hilarious. 

It involved a well-endowed man, a whole emergency unit and some singing. That was the part where I will be laughing like crazy. 

Some guilty pleasure just make my day. 

What's yours?

Starting on a diet for health sake

If you ever is a follower or read this blog, you will notice, I love eating. I mean, I really love eating. And I love to try new food. Invite me for food and I rarely say no. I have been like this since forever. I was put up by my parents in a boarding school and due to my pickiness of the type of food that I eat, I usually went to the school's canteen and eat after I have my dinner at the mess hall of the school. Just imagine that. That is why my weight is always on the high side.

Some of the food I love, which some people hates :

 

Some Indian style cooking

 

Airplane food, in this case, Malaysia Airline System's or MAS's

 

Barbeque....

 

Some fine dining

So, you see, when I started off on this diet and I have to do a cycle of 45 days, I know it will not be easy but here is the motivation. I know I am prone to disease which is passed from generation to generation (not a sure thing, I know, but high probability) and I have eaten good food since I have been in school and university. And I have lived nearly 35 years and travel the world to eat good food.

Isn't it time for me to at least eat more responsibly?

All anniversaries roll into one

My wedding anniversary is coming next month (so, why am I writing this so soon? read on). I heard or saw a few blogs, twits and statuses which announced of the coming anniversaries that couples have when they are in love.

2 month anniversary. 

First kiss. First sexual experience. 

First time holidaying together. 

6 months anniversary. 

One year anniversary of the third date which they declare that they love each other and then consented to have sex and then move in together before deciding not then did it anyway. 

You get the idea. Couple who are so into each other will try to find all the excude in the world to have an anniversary for anything. Let us spell that. 

A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

Until they get married. 

For me, all bets are off. 

When you get married, there are only 3 events which need to be celebrated.

The day you get married (or solemnise your marriage)

Either spouse's birthday.

That makes it three.


That is, until you get children...

 

Just another celebration

How hard is it?

This is a sensitive question to men, in line with the one where you get an ego-deflating question like "Is it in yet?". This is more to those who are curious, what does it feel for those men who seem to spout a tree trunk when they are excited.

As most people know, except to those who has not yet knows, if there is such a thing in this time and age, men seem to have a hard-on in the morning. It is embarrassing when you are in your youth and living with your parents and you need to go to school and that damn thing just won't come down. However, as you become more experience, you will know what to do with it. That means either it has to be dealt in a D.I.Y way or if you are lucky enough to have someone beside you, use it to it full potential. If you watched The Bucket List, Jack Nicholson character did say, "Never Waste a Hard-On". Go figure.

This phenomena is an indicator of age for men. As you grow older, it may and may not arrive. The hard-on I mean. So, when it looks like a tent pole, what does a man feels? Does he really feels anything when the thing being as hard as that? To some, if their skin is sensitive enough, they may feel all the feelings that you feel when skin touches skin. For some, it is a numbing feeling. Just imagine all the blood that goes to that area to make it hard. That is why it made some men cannot think when it happens.

So, numb that you can go on and on and on... and hoping to match and satisfy that person (or hand) that lay beside you...

How to stay awake in long drives

 

The open road...

It was quite a tiring journey I had last weekend as I could only shoot off to Penang on Friday night as my wife was working and I had to wait for my mother to come from Seremban. So, as my mother was at my brother's house, somewhere in Subang Jaya, my wife and I settled the kids (which of course are the cats), decided not to put them in a hostel which would fluttered them and picked my mother up around 8 o'clock. As we drove off, my wife and my mother wanted to have dinner and we stopped at a R&R area in Guthrie Highway to have some satay. At least the skewed meat and chicken did not make me too sleepy.

We arrived in Penang around 12pm and the directions by the GPS that I have in my Blackberry, which is a Google Map and the direction by the person who answered the telephone at the hotel did not help. We were lost when we entered Penang island. How we got there is a classic example of why men and women are so different. Check tomorrow's post

As for the trip back, I had proper rest but quite a full stomach. As we entered the North-South Highway, I actually started to feel sleepy. In such situation, what does one do? Some tricks which I usually do, but does not condone in any way :

1) Pull nose hair;

2) Slap face;

3) Eat or snacks;

4) Talk;

5) Listen to my mom talks (she did not stop from North to South);

6) Listen to the radio;

7) Sings to the songs from the radio and as most stations were playing Michael Jackson's songs, it was easy for me;

8) Argue with wife about mundane things;

9) Stop at every rest stop; and

10) The thing that everyone should do, and I didn't do it, stop at a rest stop and sleep for awhile.

And this is a guy (meaning me) who was involved in a bad accident (no broken anything) on the highway as I slept on the wheel. That was nearly 10 years ago and is a story in itself (it involves a woman).

Some men, they just don't learn....

p/s - but my longest drive was still the one I did from Munich to Rotterdam in a compact car with another 2 persons. That one was memorable as it was on the Auto Bahn which has no speed limit!